915. - Chris & Jason

All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you?

We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. How Long Gone, Chris Black. A beautiful day in New York, Jason. The temperatures are rising slightly. There's light at the end of the tunnel. It's good to be back. How are you feeling? I mean, I feel terrible, but how are you feeling?

Somehow, someway, I don't feel bad at all. And I don't know how. I mean, it could be the business class lay flat to and from, but otherwise this is the first, you know, pretty gnarly travel situation where I feel almost— I'm like 90%.

I think maybe because it's so psychedelic from LA. Like the time, it's like almost, you know what I mean? Sometimes it's like, so it's so different. It's fine. Whereas if it's a little closer, it's easier. But no, I'm happy. I mean, I feel okay, but I probably, I pushed it a little bit yesterday by going to the gym and then to see a show and then getting up today and going to the gym again. So that's probably on me.

Double? Wow. Okay. So how many, how many gyms have you done in 24 hours?

Two.

Okay.

But nothing crazy. I mean, like, I'm not going hard, hard. There's no, you know, PRs being put up, but.

And what else is new?

Exactly, exactly. It's another day that ends in Y for me. But just, just, it's the only thing that gets the yah yah. It's, I have to do it.

Right, right, right.

Or I think I feel worse, which I don't, I never tested the theory, but it's good to be back.

Okay. Because I get home, I'm able to roll up New Jack City, which is a great strain that one of my strains I have, or maybe, you know, something Hezbollah 4.0.

Hold on, hold on, hold on one second though. Let's not keep it, we need to keep it a buck. You ain't rolling shit. First and foremost, you're smoking it, but you ain't wrong.

That's false. I've been— your boy's been rolling lately because the How Long Gone pre-rolls are— have obviously sold out far ahead of projected sales schedule goals. We're— 2.0 is in the works right now, so I'm, I'm testing terps, I'm testing new flavor combos, new shit is on the market.

Could we just do— I have a question. As a look, as I know times have changed in the smok— in the smoking community, but could we just do How Long Gone Sour Diesel? Like, can we just bring it back to some real shit for our heads out there? Because all this newfangled shit, it's too scientific. I think just some classic New York-style sour diesel. I think we could re— not that it's left the market, but I think it could be reintroduced, repackaged, reframed.

People love New York-style marijuana. You know, all the outdoor grow farms of Manhattan over the centuries have just been so legendary, shitting on Northern California and other parts of the world. We do need a return to good New York City marijuana, right?

I'm not saying that it was grown here. I'm saying it was made here. You know, as—

How do you make weed without growing it, huh?

I'm just saying you make it. It's like most things. It's just a simple exercise in branding.

Oh, you're saying so it's made in Cali. Sorry, it's grown in Cali, but it's made on Madison Avenue.

Exactly. Sometimes as people, local New Yorkers say, I grew here, you flew here. You know what I mean? The weed flew here, but it grew here as far as it's— as far as its relevance in the weed smoking community.

Sure, sure.

But I don't— I don't— look, I obviously— I don't know what I'm talking about.

I have this L if you want to hold it, or I can give it to you later, just however you want to do it. I mean, we don't have time to kind of handle all the super deep details.

I can't give you the L paperwork right now. My lawyer's off.

Yeah, it's Sunday and the whole daylight thing kind of threw Threw her off. Yeah, my lawyer is a woman. No. So, so you're saying, which is what, you know, the classic old heads, you know, back in my day, a dime bag cost a dime. And I think there was like they did some like High Times posted like the top 40 weed strains of like the '70s or something like that, you know, back when it was Thai Stick and Maui Wowie and things like that.

Yeah.

So you're saying that's too far back in the annals of chronic times and you want to return to something involving the 2001 to 2009 era, the naughty '00s of dank consumption.

Yeah, because when I— all right, so when I used to buy weed in New York, you would text the number, the guy would show up, and he kind of had a— he would have a Pelican-style case.

And wow, another millennial take. Exactly, everything in a Pelican.

Exactly. It would have— and he'd have all the little jars and they would have labels on with names, and they would always change and rotate and blah blah blah. But the one that was always there the one that was holding it down in the Pelican every week was Sour Diesel. It just, it seems like a mainstay. It seems like a tentpole of the, of the whole operation, but has been, has been neglected because now everybody, like you said—

what the fuck do you know, Sober Ass? You don't know shit.

I don't know shit, but I know that if it worked then, it probably worked now. But I'm— there's a part—

okay, I just, I pulled up, there's a website called Stoops NYC, and they— of course there is. They have a must-try strain of 2026, the AJ Sour Diesel strain. Sour Diesel, one of the most iconic strains in cannabis culture. Its story is rooted deep in New York's underground scene.

See, that's me, bro.

Making it a favorite for generations of connoisseurs.

Okay, I'm just— I know it's not—

I wonder who wrote this website. Oh yeah, Stoops NYC thinks it's a big part of NYC. Wow.

What do you know? Hey, don't— hey, look, relax, bro. You know, that's some graffiti writer for sure. There's no question.

Okay.

I didn't know that— I didn't know they were still ideating.

No, it's true. You— I mean, you are correct. The '90s Sour Diesel culture, it was huge in New York, not just— not just Cali.

No, but I just— I was thinking about that the other day because I heard somebody walking down the street last night. I thought about last night because I was walking down the street and a guy was like basically retelling a story to his friend about how like a guy was explaining Sour Diesel to him but prefaced it with, you might be too young for this. And I was like, damn, is it really that— is it really that old head of a thing? But I guess maybe it is.

Yeah, for sure, for sure. I mean, you know, it's all like, like we were saying before, there's— that is our sour diesel, the, the, the, the Thai stick, the sweet chiba, the whatever, you know. Yeah, they probably just had weed called like Larry when that show was first coming out, you know. Sure. And it's going to be passed down from generation to generation. But yeah, I mean, I was— so all that is to say, yes, I've been rolling up, and yes, my joint rolling is starting to get low-key nice with it.

Are you, are you using a or you just using those big fingers of yours?

I'm using my big fingers, no helper. I got my papers. The papers come on like a rolling, kind of like a wrapping paper roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it a snip that has a little filter that you roll up and just twist up that filter.

Filters for pussies. Go ahead.

Really?

No, bro. Come on, bro. It's just shit like that is just unnecessary. I know sometimes it can make it easier to smoke. I was more of a blunt expert than a joint roller. So it's a different— it's got a bigger hole, pause, opening.

I'm pretty sure in 2026, the amount of people who are anti-filter— there's not very many anti-filter—

well, that's— you know what?

It's not a filter.

Well, that's because it— I think that's because the pre-rolls come with them. And so that's what people now expect. You know what I mean? Like, that's sort of the standard has changed a little bit is what I would imagine.

I love a sober motherfucker telling me about drugs.

I mean, I don't mean to boast or brag or make myself look stupid, but I think you could—

I know.

You could probably keep smoking weed for another 10 years. Years and I've still got you, and I've been off for 10 years.

You've been, you've been off and a lot can change, you know. This is—

that's true. No, of course, of course, of course.

I feel, I feel like I'm too Hollis. I got Tortoise over here telling me how to make dubstep. I'm like, okay, sit down, Grandpa.

Did you see that tweet that said, too Hollis looks like— and I can't remember what it was. I think it was said raw fish. I can't— there's something stupid. It was— I can't remember what it was.

To me, he looks like an '80s hair metal video vixen. Like, he would be busting his pussy open on a Whitesnake video.

No, it wasn't another— it was not a human being that they said he looked like. It was some— it was an animal or, or like a—

oh, okay, or raw fish, just an inanimate object.

It was not a person, I guess, is what I'm trying to say, but I cannot remember what it was. I cannot remember what it was.

Looked like a soccer jersey. It could be, you know, he looks like a webcam.

Who's got the new— yeah, looks like a damn webcam. All right, what came out though? Did Netspend come out? Because I saw that Paris Hilton was complimenting his new album.

When you say come out, what do you mean? I mean, all these guys are gay, but are you talking about drop new shit?

No, no, no, I mean come out. I'm sorry, new music, or there's a new Netspend album. Is that fair? Or a new single?

I think there's a new album in the works.

Yes.

Okay, because I saw, I saw there's a Lean Gut Span has new shit on the way.

It's crazy these guys can get lean guts this early, this young. Like, if you're under 30, you shouldn't be physically— you should not— your body should not be able to produce a lean gut Even a small one to stretch out the Gucci boxer briefs.

Like, you know, it makes you wonder if, if NetSpend's parents were abusing lean during pregnancy and it's, you know what, it's one of those things.

He's waterlogged with lean. He can't get off it. That's honestly, that could be true. I don't know what his parents are up to. The thing about NetSpend is, you know, that his parents have like corporate jobs. There's no way NetSpend ever got it out the mud in any way.

Both of NetSpend's parents are college professors in Connecticut. Exactly.

Exactly.

You know, I was thinking about lean this morning about how Even though, like, the amount of promethazine use seems to have gone down since its heyday, like, it's still around and people are still using it. But I don't think it's as prominent. I think it's harder to get and it's more expensive and more rare. So it's only being abused by some of the big spenders in the game. But I think the culture and the act of the process of the lean, you know, the pouring it and the purple, you know, the purple and it mixes and it's all pretty. It's to me, it's just male Stanley Cup drink culture.

Yeah, it's the same.

It has the same energy, just reskinned to have a little more of a hard edge. But still, what is more— a human adult child who needs candy to drink their water.

Until you've— until you've dumped some of that purple stuff inside of a Sprite and turned it upside down to make it go lava lamp mode, I don't know if you've seen true beauty. You know, I've seen some of the finest paintings ever created, and I still say a 2-liter, you know, dumped upside down, the way that oil and water mix is— of course it is one of the most beautiful sights of human—

breathtaking. It is, I will agree.

Breathtaking.

It is, it is breathtaking. But it's odd that something that's such a simple—

well, I would never— I never—

reaction of colors has, has captivated our nation's youth.

I just don't understand. I don't understand cutting stuff, really. That's my issue with it. Like, just take a sip of lean out of the, out of the bottle. You don't get all that sugar. It's already— you're already going to get the— like, the lean gut is mostly Sprite, Jason. I think that's what we're forgetting.

Wow. You just said the quiet part out loud.

I didn't. I don't mean to out. I would never come for big Coca-Cola, my hometown corporation, one of my favorites. But if we're keeping it a buck, if you're just sipping lean like it's prescribed by the doctor, you'd still get fucked up, but you can't walk around with the double cup. And that's really why people are doing it.

Okay. What's, fellas, what's gayer? Wanting to have your lean be made with Sprite Zero or feeling the need to make your yummy drink purple. You know what I mean? Like it's a sort of a, it's an even battle.

Sprite, Sprite, now Sprite Zero is crazy. Sprite Zero, mixing up the Sprite Zero is crazy. Even if you're Drake, like that's too crazy.

I mean, you know, abs are made in the Lean Kitchen, as they say, Chris.

Yeah, Lean Kitchen, one of my favorite delivery, one of my favorite ghost kitchen delivery places in LA.

Guts are made on the soda fountain. Yeah, so we were, we've had some loco travel. I guess 72 hours, 24 of those for me were in flight. But somehow, like you were saying, I think just depending on where you're flying from and to and what direction and what time of day, you can almost— it's almost as if you just— like when you see somebody walking up an escalator that's going down and they sort of arrive at the same time as their friend who's doing it the regular way, it really is like cutting a hole in space and time continuum for me to just get on a plane at 1 PM on a Saturday afternoon, you know, 11-hour flight, and I'm— and I land Saturday afternoon on the other side of the world and everything is just normal again. I, I mean, I'm loving it.

I'm loving it. Hopefully you don't crash because this has happened to me before too where I get a little cocky and then, you know, something happens. I'm like, I feel like— I mean, I felt pretty bad the whole— I don't know what happened this trip. Something was off because I felt bad the whole time. Like I never really felt right.

Was it you had higher hopes for Balenciaga?

No, no, no. My physical body, not my mental. My mental state is always bad. My physical body. But I did go for it.

I felt fine until I saw Lil Yachty pull out Uno cards at dinner and then I had to take a knee.

I don't— I'll never understand the fascination with games in adults, especially. I mean, whatever. I'd rather watch him play cards.

Not everyone has our gift of gab.

Would you rather?

Our love of conversation.

Would you rather Lil Yachty pull up to the freestyle and just say, you know what, we're gonna play Uno instead, or spit bars? That's the real question. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own, but the truth is no one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference.

I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most, that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp, choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over 6 million people globally are using it, and, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/howlong. That is betterhelp.com/howlong.

Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water.

He knows how to charge my copay.

Exactly.

That's about it.

As if I could drink more water, doctor. I, I don't get data. I don't get a game plan. I just get a pat on the ass and get out there and make it better. But Superpower is doing something different. Superpower sends a licensed professional to your home, or you can visit a nearby lab if you're a little freak. It's a simple blood draw, one simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers, which is way more than what you usually get, and it unlocks a real understanding of your body. Uh, their app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid hormones, metabolism, vitamin, mineral levels, and even environmental toxins. Ooh. So from disease prevention to treating that annoying brain fog or simple optimizing for your gym game, let's go. Superpower is more comprehensive and advanced system out there.

Make this year the year we all stop guessing about our health with Superpower. For a limited time, How Long on listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to superpower.com and use the code HOWLONG for $20 off your membership. That is code How long? And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about Superpower. Do us a favor if you could and tell them how long Gon sent you, and that'll just support us. Thanks. Do we want to hear him drop his On the Radar freestyle, or do we want to just watch him quietly play Uno with his friends? Which one's going to be more damaging to the eyes and ears?

I would let him—

tough call.

I would like to— but he can play cards loudly with his friends. They don't even have to be quiet. And I'm still going with that. I bet there— I bet those guys talking while they play cards is funnier and more entertaining.

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I mean, I guess, I guess we should be wanting Lil Yachty to do anything but perform music.

I mean, he's great. Everything about him except the music is great.

Yeah, one of, one of our nation's worst rappers, but he somehow is, is doing well and he's successful and cool and charming and fun. You know, it's sort of the, the lyricism itself is I would rather—

not really, I would rather Lil Yachty be beloved and famous than 99% of rappers that take themselves too seriously or don't, you know what I mean? I guess all rappers are just podcasters now, um, which is, uh, infringing on our territory, of course. But it's a strange period. But it's cool because I think that it's— they come from a shit-talking culture, and I think it's actually the perfect job. Like, I think it's the perfect job for, for a rapper that's sort of, you know, a little too old to be doing it. I think the reason they all do it is because it's actually what they're great at.

Mm-hmm.

It's, it's, it's interesting how they're thriving.

Speaking of rappers who are awesome people and personalities but don't need to listen to the music, I, I was cleaning up some old screenshots and things on my phone, as I will do on the plane. Found a Vince Staples tweet from 10 years ago. The photo. Remember the photo of Kobe Bryant where he was wearing like the all-white look? He kind of looks like a demon.

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a classic photo.

Classic one. So Vince Staples tweeted that, that portrait of, of him 10 years ago, almost 10 years ago. It's like April 20 or April 2016, almost exactly 10 years. Here's the tweet with that photo attached to it. Tagging @KobeBryant @Lakers. I've hated you my whole life. Thanks for the memories, little bitch. I've hated you my whole life.

I mean, Vince Staples is a national treasure. I, I mean, I'm not, I'm not like tuning in for his—

I'm just saying it takes chutzpah.

Yeah.

To, to call Kobe Bryant a little bitch, you know, after he dies in an untimely awful death.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. But I think that I, if my enemy dies, I'm still gonna call him a bitch. Like, that's not— I, I get where he's coming from. I get where he's— you're still a bitch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dead or alive. But what is Vince Staples doing? He's doing like a variety show sponsored by Taco Bell.

He's doing the Liv Moss Taco Bell variety show hour.

That check must— oh my God, I can't even imagine what he's getting paid for.

What do you— I mean, what, $300? What do you think it is?

At least, at least, depending on how much work he has to do for the cure, because the curation is loco. Like, it's insane.

Okay, so I got it pulled up. This is happening soon. When this episode comes out, this will be tomorrow. This is happening streaming live on Peacock March 10th. It's the Taco Bell Live Moss live at the Palladium. So it's really coming back to the, the Live Moss era of, you know, I guess that was 20 years ago almost with—

we're back—

the reality television kind of extreme sports Live Moss energy.

What's your, what's your guy's name? Travis Pastrana.

Yeah, he was living moss in the, in the Red Bull 900 Vert Suite at the snowboard hang gliding competition. Okay, so I, I, I, we got teased this image and I was like, oh, Night at the Palladium. It's a variety show hosted by Vince Staples in Los Angeles, his hometown.

Hey, cuz.

Hopes aren't high, but he's known—

they're pretty high, actually. They're pretty high.

He's a funny guy. He's got good taste. He knows right from wrong. I'm thinking he's going to get these amazing comedians and weird performers and good musicians and like some real shit that I could be interested in viewing. Okay. And then the lineup was released. First artist performing is Benson Boone.

All right. Look, for— all right. Look, I'm going to say, I'm going to say with 99% certainty that Vince Staples did not choose Benson Boone to perform. And I'm— and I'm—

but as somebody who I believe has integrity and respect for themselves, Jason, you don't have that much integrity.

You don't have that. You would not push back. If we were getting, if we were getting paid, if we were getting paid that much money, you'd be like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. Benson Boone, come play 2 songs, whatever. Also, there's a chance that Vince Staples is able to slyly make fun of Benson Boone in a way that will be palatable for Benson and us or whatever. You know what I mean?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. The next performer at the Liv Moss event is Davante Adams, who is a 33-year-old wide receiver Okay, so Devonte's going to run some filthy routes out there for us just on stage.

Like, what are we going to do? What is— okay. All right. Maybe he's— maybe he's like a— maybe he's dabbling in comedy or some other kind of performance. I'm not going to—

I mean, he's been working on this juggling routine. He's got it. He's got the unicycle out. He's juggling. He's eating cigarettes. He's doing the whole thing.

Okay. He's eating cigarettes.

Yeah. Yeah. He's— his balloon art, his offseason balloon art is really taking off. Okay. It's coming together. It's coming together. DJ Pee Wee, who I believe is Anderson.Paak.

Oh, okay. Okay. I found out recently that Anderson, because he told a story about getting put on to Ken Carson by his son and Anderson.Paak has like a grown son, like his son's like 17. I'm like, I thought Anderson.Paak was 30. I just don't, I was just stunned by that. I had no idea. I have no idea how old he is. He looks good. Anderson.Paak looks good. So maybe he is older and just looks good. But I was stunned.

Anderson.Paak, his son's name is Soul Rashid.

That's okay. You can't name your kid Soul. You can't do that. All right. Who's next on Vince's lineup?

Sneaking in there at the bottom, Doja Cat.

It's crazy.

You're going to— who should be headlining the whole thing.

I mean, Doja's fallen off a little bit, but you can't— I mean, that does seem like fucked up billing.

Doja can— Doja, when she performs in LA, she's selling out SoFi and, you know, this is at the Palladium. So, you know. It seems like an odd thing. Next up, Fernando Mendoza, who is a 22-year-old quarterback for the Raiders.

Okay, so I see what they're doing here. They're just trying to spread it out and touch all the interest areas. I can't even blame them because I don't know who these guys are, but I'm sure they're wildly popular. You know what I mean? So it's like, I don't know what they're going to do.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. He's not— the Raiders are expected to sign him. He's still—

Oh, he's a college athlete.

Indiana Hoosiers.

Okay.

He was born in 2003.

Okay, got it. Well, I kind of understand what I look— these are not choices I would make, Jason, but I understand.

So he's, he's probably, he's going to kill it up there on the Live Moss variety show.

He really might though. I mean, he really might depending on how young, how young the crowd is. Okay. This is, this is, I got to say, I remember reading this when this like first came out and this is somehow more twisted than I remember it being.

Yeah. And I don't know. Then there's a Puerto Rican rapper named Mike Towers. Mike spelled with a Y. He's a 32-year-old Puerto Rican artist.

Okay.

His genre is Argentinian trap.

Oh, wow. Okay.

I mean, who's the trap? And then, of course, Yeet at the bottom. White Chocolate at the bottom.

The goat.

The real goat on the pod. When I know all of your Jewish managers listen to this shit, let's make it happen.

Do you think— do you think Yeet can put together a sentence, though? Real talk. No offense, Zach, but can Yeet put together a sentence?

If he has like a guy holding up— he's got the sticks inside the sleeve of his Supreme jacket, moving his arms around Our Field Trip Records family.

But okay, I'm— I think what they're doing over there at Taco Bell is, is really trying to touch all of the youth markets, which, you know, it could be a situation where maybe it kind of works, and it could be a situation where it's the you can't be everything to everyone. And we can all— the only way to find out is to livestream tomorrow night on Peacock.

Yeah, and I will never go to Taco Bell. I was, I was mourning how— I mean, I used to like Taco Bell.

Jason?

Yeah. What?

Yeah, I lost you. You there?

I'm here. Can you hear me? Yeah.

It's so weird. You just went totally blank.

Oh, yeah. It's windy over here in LA, so I always get worried about the Wi-Fi and the electricity when it gets to blowing over here. But yeah, I guess speaking of Taco Bell and variety shows, there's just a little correction from a previous episode about the— here we go. I was talking about the BET Awards.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I learned afterwards that it was in fact the NAACP. I was talking about, somebody was making a statement about, you know, if the guy with Tourette's syndrome screams the N-word in this room, it was the NAACP Awards that were aired on BET. Yes. So I watched the clip. There was a video and in the corner of it, a giant BET logo. Everyone's wearing tuxedos on a stage. I made the assumption thinking it was the BET Awards and not the NAACP Awards.

You know, the reason you made the mistake is because you should know that no one wears a tuxedo at the BET Awards. So that is the, that is the main differentiator.

Literally, that's not like, it's like, I'm glad that we got a, we got an apology and a double down all in the same. That's what you have on me.

It's like a, it's like a VMAs versus, you know what I mean? It's just like they're wearing fucking, they're wearing Balenciaga, like you said, like it's just a different thing regardless of race.

We're wearing a purple leather studded jacket and some, you know, we're wearing some crazy shit.

It's not actually my friend made this.

We're not wearing tips.

My friend made this for me. He's actually an up-and-coming designer. Is the vibe of it.

Oh, your designs are fire. Are you like a creative?

Your designs are fire. Oh, but that is a mistake on your part. I would like to say to the person who tweeted at only me, Jason is the one who said all of this. I didn't say any of it and I wasn't even aware of it. So, but I'll take the— it's fine.

We're a team. Look, put yourself in that Twitter user's shoes. I get it. And you're like, they said it on How Long Gone. Gun to my head, who's the one that made the— yeah, I'm going to go Chris Black too. What are you going to do?

Yeah, it's fine. I just want to be clear that it was, you know, for once it wasn't me. For once it wasn't me.

But I'm glad that we— Don't do that for once shit right now, Chris. I don't have the patience for it.

I'm glad that we've— but I'm glad that we've corrected it on the record here. It's important. It's important to know when you're wrong.

That's right, brother. Okay. Yeah, somebody also sent me a message on Instagram, not a correction, more more of just a, a plead. Um, so this is from somebody who I'm not going to say the name of. Hear me out, some food for thought. I'm a woman in my early 30s and I have some advice. I have some advice for my male peers that I want you to discuss on your podcast. The boys need to know about Viagra. I was recently on a trip with my bi best friend.

I'm really out now. Bi male? You're saying she has a male friend who's bi? We all know that's fake.

It just says my— all it says is my bi best friend. Didn't say what gender we were talking about. Okay. And we got some over the counter in the UK, not to fuck each other is what this person clarified with, but just for recreational use. He took some, went to a late night dalliance, and when he returned, he exclaimed, my dick feels 17 again, and put on the Last Waltz version of Muddy Waters' I'm a Man. As a woman—

I like that, that's pretty good. That's pretty— that's actually pretty cool.

I wouldn't have— I wouldn't have read this if it didn't deliver a little bit. Okay. As a woman trying to date chopped and unk men in their mid-30s, something's got to give. Your listeners are a prime demographic for this and need to hear it. I believe the male loneliness epidemic could be solved with this little blue pill. Please use your platform to get the soft boys to start juicing.

Well, this is— there's so many cool buzzwords in here. I think that, um, I don't think there's any person that listens to this podcast, or maybe any podcast, that isn't aware of Viagra. I think it's— I don't think— I think it's not, you know what I mean? I don't think that's— that's like a, uh, that was a cultural phenomenon.

Well, I think people are aware of it, much like other things that plague the Chopped and Unc listeners of this podcast. We're all aware of prostate exams, but we may need a little nudging in that direction. We all know about performance-enhancing drugs, but we might have a little—

yeah, sure. I mean, clarity, I think you can get those, but I think also that poking and prodding— I believe that there are probably Viagra alternatives that are available online, you know, like I feel like I get targeted ads every day for any drug I want from a Hims type service.

You can go— yeah, you can go on Hims or whatever that shit, I'm sure, and just, you know, 10 minutes later with the virtual Indian guy AI doctor and that shit shows up at your house. And, you know, in 2 days or something. Yeah, but yeah, I think maybe— to me it seems like the issue is people may not believe that they are in need of it, or they don't want to have to admit to themselves that they are.

Well, I won't talk about— I won't talk about this for one more second until Spicy Cubes or fucking, you know, Bluetooth sponsors the show, because we're— I mean, that's the— that's the— these companies have been specifically targeting this demographic that she's talking about for literally the beginning of podcasting. Like, I feel like those are some of the first— Bluechew has been advertising on podcasts for, I mean, for at least 10 years.

Okay, well then at least let's, let's hold out for just literal Viagra. You know what I mean?

Like, that's the check I'm looking for. That's the check I'm looking for.

We don't, we don't want any of the— yeah, we don't want any fake shit that they're going to do on, you know, the Adam Friedland Show or something. We want the real, you know, subsidized, murderous Pfizer-regulated drugs.

Yeah, I want this to be, I want this to be from, yeah, an evil corporation, not a cool startup. No, that's funny though.

I don't want yuzu lychee Viagra gummies. Exactly.

That's literally what it is. Are these blood orange? Oh, these are so good. Imagine that the Viagra gummies are so good you eat too many like it's a weed gummy. You're bricked up for 2 weeks.

It happened again.

I mean, it's—

I had 11 Tangelo Frog Hollow Farm Viagra gummies. I fucked a hole through a cinder block wall. Goddamn.

Oh my God, I got tennis elbow. That's really, really funny. That's right, because I, I'm, I literally, I don't think we're that far off from that if it doesn't already exist and we're just not aware of it.

Yeah, yeah, you know, I mean, I, I got, when I, when I arrived home from Gay Pali, I had a, a shipment of creatine gummies on the doorstep.

Are they, but are they stupid flavors or just sort of like blue, orange, red?

We got sour peach. Sounds kind of nice.

Oh, oh, I'm not a peach guy, to be honest.

You don't want to build lean muscle and improve your recovery as well as cognition with the beautiful flavor of sour peach.

Did you pay for these? Were they free?

I didn't pay for them.

That's what I thought.

I'll give it a taste and I'll— if my dick gets bigger and my traps get stronger and my cognition gets doper, you'll let me know. And they pay me $20 grand. Well, I'll let you know the brand.

I'm starting to worry, though, that all this stuff that we do doesn't do anything. I'm really starting to worry.

Wait, are you talking about ad reads?

No, no, no.

I'll cut all this right now, bitch.

No, no, no. I love ad reads. I'm just— I'm starting to worry that it's, it's a little bit like, unless it's something extreme, you know, I, I just wonder. It's starting to get to me. That's like, I take so many pills every day, I don't— I, I just don't— I don't feel as good as I should considering how many pills I have to travel around with. I think a shot is a different thing, that, that, that's a little more extreme. But I, I just— I, I don't know, man. I'm starting to think that the the extreme supplement of it all is like, I don't know. I just don't know.

So it's almost like a miracle cure-all drug that claims you just take a pill and all of your life's problems go away. It might not be truthful and factual.

Well, I wish it was that. It's not even that. It's like 40 pills that sort of help you in different ways. Okay. If it was one pill that was supposed to do everything, I'd snort it. But if it's going to be, I got to take 50, I got to take a fucking tote bag worth of vitamins everywhere I go over the world. It's starting to be like, does it really do anything?

Thing.

Like, yeah, I think on some level we know what works, and it's like the shit we're talking— it's like Viagra and Ozempic. That's the shit that actually works. Everything else, everything else, it's sort of like, I don't know.

No, I, I think about this sometimes because it makes you want— like, I think we, we were talking about this, I don't know, a couple years ago in the pod, where I was saying like, not, not in some any type of woe is me way or my life is awesome way of I just want to know what my pain level is compared to the rest of the world. People say, oh, the female tolerance for pain is much higher than a man because childbirth, but try punching a woman in the face and see what happens. There's all these arguments about pain and I'm like, am I in pain? How do I rank on the pain scale with my fellow comrades, my same age, weight, height, sex?

Yeah, that's a great—

I would love to— So that same kind of thing. And then you hear people say, oh, Well, as soon as I started taking 400 milligrams of zinc every Wednesday instead of 300, it changed everything. So it makes me wonder, like, how I feel like I'm in tune with my body, what I'm putting into it, and how it's making me feel more than the average person.

Definitely.

But I don't— I want— I'll take one Tylenol, 10 Tylenols. Yeah, exactly. One of this pill, 11 of this pill. I feel no different whatsoever. Is it working? Who fucking knows?

This is what I mean. The stuff that works is perks. Like, it's like the shit you think works, works. The other stuff, I mean, I think it's also just like, it's, I don't know, man. It's like the Instagram ads. I think it's just like we're all searching for something to make us feel better.

I started taking psyllium husk and my bald spot started growing back. And you just hear all this weird shit all the time, you know. But it's the same thing as like, you know, do I really need to put my seatbelt on the airplane when it's going to crash? You know, like You can go down the line.

But imagine if they marketed a pill— imagine if they marketed a pill to women that said it would make your titties bigger, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, imagine—

watch The Substance on the plane.

Do you think a woman— do you think a woman would take that? I think she would probably be like, I'll just either get plastic surgery or I won't. I'm not gonna take a pill, you know what I mean? I'm not gonna like—

I don't know. I mean, unless it was like wildly expensive, I feel like everyone would be— but that's more interesting than going under the knife.

But the problem is, is that the pills are getting so expensive and there's no proof that it works. That's the issue. That's what I'm saying. It's like, not that it compares— obviously it doesn't compare to a breast augmentation surgery. It's, it's much less than that. But I just mean, once you really start looking at this shit and you're like, wait, how much do I spend a year on fucking sup— like, what? Like, it's not cheap. It's not that cheap, I guess, is what I'm saying.

Yeah. I wonder moving forward, we might have to start having like the, the field of supplement and peptide accountants are going, are going to rise. People who specialize in, you know, drug accounting.

Uh, yeah, I wish I had a drug accountant. I mean, maybe, maybe I should tell my dad that that's what he should get into as in retirement. You know, just take on a few clients, just only do their drug budgets. It'll be pretty mellow for you overall.

Imagine your dad calling you asking for help with an accounting question that he's like, all right, so I got my client here. He's got all these Venmo transactions for ski trip, and I don't know how— I think I know what he means, but I don't know what category, you know.

Just, just say, yeah, if you just have a few minutes, we can hop on Zoom if you got time. Yeah, I don't— all right, so let's— I would like to—

he takes a lot of Big Bear trips.

I, I want to talk to you about this. We just, we left Paris. It was your first time, and I feel like, as a person who knows you, you know, very well, I feel like you had a really good time, and it kind of warmed my heart. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.

A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do?

3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points, that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we to. That's just a guess.

The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother.

Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, uh, stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch on YouTube. It's 3 times a week. And, and who couldn't use more news, you know, especially, especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it, give it a Give it a listen. Your summer starts now with Memorial Day deals at The Home Depot. It's time to fire up summer cookouts with the Nexgrill 4-burner gas grill on special buy for only $199. And entertain all season with the Hampton Bay West Grove 7-piece outdoor dining set for only $499. This Memorial Day, get low prices guaranteed at The Home Depot. Supplies last. Pricing valid May 14th through May 27th. US only. Exclusions apply. See homedepot.com/pricematch for details.

Oh, it warmed your heart that I was Paris-pilled? Yeah, you pilled it. You think, you think you liked it? Wait till fucking Carolyn—

I just was like—

heard that I enjoyed it.

I just was like, I could tell that you liked it instantly. I could tell. And usually I, I usually I'm used to you not liking it, so it was a pretty stark difference.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out why. I mean, maybe it's A lot of it is rooted in the fact that, you know, we were sort of flown out like the fashion princesses that we aren't and, you know, treated well. And I felt, you know, just riding high off of that endorphin of, you know, business class and car service and hotel where you don't put your credit card down and life is but a dream. All you have to do is put on the Loewe and drink champagne. So it was, it was an easy situation to have a fun time in. But I really did like the city of Paris, how it flowed. I think they were sort of, you know, not, they weren't smitten with me, but they were tickled by my personality type. The French are kind of like a kooky, you know, not everyone, but the ones that aren't assholes are kind of a kooky, weird, irreverent bunch at their core. And despite the language barrier that I have, you know, me saying fucking excusez every time as I'm riding by them on the bicycle instead of pardon. But I, I really loved it. Yeah, it was great.

I know, I mean, I know 3— I probably know 3 French people I like, so I'm glad that you found that many. I haven't been going there for 10 years. But no, I, I just— I had a good time. I had a great time too. It's not— I just like, I really find it to be— the way people love it, I've just never been able to relate to, I think, is the issue. Of course it's great, it's beautiful, it's, it's like clean, everything's, you know, it's a pretty high quality of, of product across the board, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Um, you kind of get— you get all the, the, the majesty and romance of a Rome without the just 40 billion of the worst tourists you've ever seen taking it over.

No, go there in July, see what it feels like.

Obviously there's tourists in Paris as well, huge tourist city, but it just felt different and more spread out and easily avoidable.

It's a lot bigger.

It's like people coming to LA and complaining about it, about the tourism, but they just hang out at the Grove and the Hollywood Walk of Fame or something like that. Everyone who knows, you know, you don't hang out at those places.

No, but I had a good time too. And I, I, I mean, even though I feel crazy, it was, it was— I'm glad we went and it was fun. Thank you to the Loewe family, and hopefully we'll be back. I really, I really want those shoes, the men's shoes.

Yeah, the men's shoes that kind of look like the rock climbing shoes.

It's an approach shoe. It's quite— it's really happening right now.

Yeah, the approach shoe. Um, yeah, if Loewe— once, once you get the basketball player sizes in Um, I like the purple and I like the brown.

Yeah, unfortunately Brett Faiyaz, uh, Brett Faiyaz doesn't wear a 17. I think he's a regular.

I didn't check, I didn't check with Brent, but yeah, I guess there weren't any ballers there at the show. It was just me at the top. It's just jeans.

The only, the only ballers at any show now are K-pop stars that we don't recognize. I swear to God, I was talking about this last night. I was talking about last night. I swear to God, every event of any kind I go to there is a massive crowd losing their fucking minds for a K-pop star that I don't know anything about. It's starting to make me feel crazy because I know the big ones. I'm not like totally shut off from this, you know what I mean? I like know, I know who's who to some extent, but I think because it's such like a factory model, they're just, they're just coming out so fast you can't keep up.

Yeah, and there, there are entire worlds full of superstar Korean acts and performers that that you and I will never know.

Of course, of course. No, but I—

and I'm fairly tapped in with the music scene, but, you know, I couldn't name a single member of aespa, but—

well, yeah, what I'm saying is there's the ones that don't ever make it out of Korea, but then there's so many that make it to Paris and Milan and New York and London, and I still— I can't keep up with those either, is what I'm trying to say.

Yeah.

Yeah, like, I, like, I thought— I mean, this— I, I saw something I've never seen before, which is fascinating to me, is that so across, you know, whatever, across from us, whatever, there was, there was two content creators, one with like a, you know, like a cool Handycam vintage vibe, content spelled with a K, vintage vibe, you know, video camera, and one with like sort of a not super long lens but, you know, a Nat Geo style model, like, we're getting the shot, giraffe eating. And they were both— they were both— this, this— then the way the show lasted, whatever, 15 minutes maybe, and they the entire time were taking picture and video of their boss, who is some sort of K-pop star, of him watching the show. And so they have— they have 1,000 digital photos and 15 minutes of raw footage of him watching models. It was just— it just seemed crazy It's like, how much of this can you use? Like, you cut in a couple times, but like, what are we talking about?

And these, and these are two people that are sitting in the center of the show taking up very valuable real estate.

Yeah, this is, this could be, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, it's not like these people, because there was a little press corner full of photographers with their, with their lenses shooting all the looks, but these were two people that were occupying, you know, very prime seating.

I think when you get prime fashion show, I think when you get up to this level, you can be like, I need to come with 6 people. And it's like, all right, fuck it, let's go, dude. We'll see you.

Tell Jim Fallon to kick rocks.

All good. We'll sit, we'll sit, we'll sit. We got seats for you. But yeah, um, I got, I got back last night and I, um, I went to Equinox and then I went to go see Cat Power at the, um, at Webster Hall. She was doing The Greatest. Which is one of my all-time favorites. And, um, I was— I took Nathan Pemberton with me, and as a fellow, he's a, you know, he's a guy from Florida, he understands. We were in there.

He's into older ladies too.

We were in— yeah, we were in like the whatever, you know, that balcony. There's like a balcony on the left that's like the quote-unquote VIP balcony, which much like most venues, it's actually a terrible place to watch a show. But it is— I guess it's better, but I, I, whatever.

You don't have to smell the regulars.

The point is, we were looking around, I was like, damn, this is like all of these sort of like baddies that are 4 to 7 years older than us are here. They're just that much older than us and they all look good. There's— it was just a very certain kind of like Max Fish graduate crowd that, that I, I expected sort of. But then it was like, I, I was talking to Chrissy Miller and she had all these friends there with her, and I was like, well, you guys all are just like good-looking 45-year-old women with careers that are happy to see their friend on. I don't know, it was kind of heartwarming in a way. It was heartwarming in a way because sometimes you go to those shows where the crowd is your peers and you're like, oh man, hell no. Like, you try to go see fucking American Nightmare and Indecision at Brooklyn Monarch and it looks like a fucking plumbing union meeting, you know? This at least looked like— this looked like it should look. Like, all the Levi's fit right, you know what I mean? It was the right pants, everything was right. The guys look cool, everybody looked good. It was just a nice— old bitches winning.

I mean, old bitches stay winning.

Okay, I've been to so much of this stuff in the past couple years and I'm always like, damn, is this what I look like? And this time I was like, I hope this is what I look like.

They said it's some good pussy under this X-Girl jumpsuit.

You don't want to see what's under here, big boy. Um, but the, uh, her voice, I couldn't believe it. She sounded so good. Like, it was honestly awesome because I just feel like it's such a— she has such an iconic singing voice, and if you know it, it really sticks with you. And And it's just hard to maintain that after touring for 25 years or whatever, you know, more. She's probably been touring for 40 years.

Very cool that you're able to celebrate this on the eve of International Women's Day. One of the greatest women, pun intended.

Literally. No, literally.

You should have said that to her. Yo, Cat Power, you one of the greatest women out right now.

You one of the greatest women out. But yeah, it was— it was— I'm glad I got to go, and I'm glad I got to hear Lived in Bars. I haven't heard that live, you know, since the first tour, so it was fun. But I was just the whole thing was a really funny exercise for me. And then I, I, um, I had to leave and walk home, and I killed my feet. But that's a whole nother issue.

What shoe did you use? What shoe was it, was it this time, Chris?

See, the problem— this is what I do. I get off the plane, I'm like, you know what, I should wear something comfortable because I'm gonna walk 50 blocks, you know, from my house to Webster Hall. I know how far this is. And then every time I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna put on some— I put on my Simon Amel boat shoes, which I love, but they're distance walkers. They're not Hokas, they're not Nortas, they're not, you know, so I just— I'm paying for it today.

Those shoes you put on for walking the plank, not for— not 50 blocks in Manhattan.

No, it was, it was a mistake on my part, but I— at least they look good with my jeans, you know.

You keep fucking up, don't you?

I keep—

yeah, I mean, I'm sad I missed the Cat Power. The Greatest is a great album. You Are Free or Moon picks? I don't know, both of them, they're all iconic.

I mean I think that You Are Free I've probably listened to more, but The Greatest I got into at a more pivotal time in my life, I think is probably the way I would put it.

I need to start DJing He War in the club.

Dude, please, please put on He War at the club. Please. The heads would know.

It's a little bit of an indie sleaze bop for the older heads.

It is. I think it is too. I mean, we were talking about the Manhattan video where she's on the top of the tourist bus and they're just like driving through the city. And how like I was talking about it with Katie and Kevin because I was like, this is so genius and it costs nothing. You know, it's like one of those video ideas, it's just good. It didn't cost any money because we were talking about like music videos because Kevin did that video with, with Caleb that cost no money and it's really good. And I was like, yeah, that, that's what that reminds me of is that people used to do shit like that and now it's sort of like you either do nothing or you, or you're one of the 5 artists that can spend a million dollars. There's no in between really.

Yeah, you don't be sleaze unless you are ready to get indie with the budgets too. Deadass.

I, we need to talk about the Harold Stylish as Well, I've had some more time to digest, and, um, I'm sort of having some TJ-style Audrey Hobart feelings about it, where like the single didn't do anything for me, but there's 3 or 4 on here that I, I like quite a lot.

Okay. And were you swayed by the kiss all the time, disco occasionally, pop-up powered by American Express?

That could sway me, you know, but I didn't— the line in Paris was literally wrapped around 2 blocks. I feel like it's— I mean, God bless, and I, I didn't use my card to get access, unfortunately.

Okay, so, so, so the single, the first one that came out, obviously you were not loving it, but then you're digging in a little bit.

There's 3 or 4 songs that are quite good, and it's still not the same. It's, it's still not hitting for me like the rest of them, but there's, there's a song called Taste Back that is very, very good.

What is that song about, do you know?

Oh, I don't know.

Is it about Long COVID?

I don't think it is. I'll, I'll get on, I'll get on Rap Genius later.

I'm eating, I'm eating this peanut butter and jelly and I can't taste a thing.

Well, I was talking about with Shaw yesterday because he's writing the Pitchfork review and he was like, I think that song actually kind of sounds like Phoenix, which is obviously complimentary. Um, and I, I sort of, I sort of hear that now.

But Phoenix is like if LCD Sound System was good, so it all makes sense, right?

But here's, here's what really blew my top off is that I was reading there's a New York Times story.

Sorry if LCD Soundsystem got laid. Carry on.

Uh, they've gotten laid, they're just underage. Um, I was, I was, uh, I was listening to— I was, I'm sorry, I was reading a New York Times, uh, story about Kid Harpoon, the producer who works on all the Harry Styles albums since the beginning. And he's worked with a bunch of people, and it's, it's, you know, he's— I didn't know this, but he was sort of in a, in a band that opened for like Libertines. Like, he, you know, he's very close with um, he's very close to Florence Welch. You know, he's like from that— he's exactly my age, 43. He's like from that era of London. And he started talking about how he like was, you know, he's doing all this stuff, he's doing all this stuff, and then he, you know, started seeing a therapist and was trying to figure it out. And like sort of was— I think the, the takeaway from the therapist was like, you should do this, you should figure out what to do for the love of it instead of like the work of it all, you know? Like, you don't have to write songs, like you don't have to do this every day like a job if you don't want to. Is basically what the takeaway was. And he got super into modular synths and bought all the crazy shit and taught himself how to use it. So I'm gonna— he's responsible for this. He's responsible. I think, I think Harry started doing Molly and going to Berghain, was like, this is sick. And at the same time, his producer had spent $250,000 on modular synths and figured out how to use them. And then they went to the studio in Berlin, and this is what we get. I think that— I didn't realize that was such a part of it because the story was so like Harry just decided to do something different. It was like, I think it was really influenced by this producer he's worked with for years.

Okay, Kid Harpoon, our 43-year-old king from Kent, England. I, I want to know because I have not heard the album. I'm familiar with modular synths. For our listeners at home, it's like, yes, synthesizers. You'll see videos of people doing it. They got all these weird wires and cables and doohickeys. Things look like they're made out of like a wooden box that they're—

it's extremely cool It's extremely cool looking and seems very hard to do.

It's very hard to do. It's a pain in the ass, requires a good amount of money, time, attention, and I'm sure meth works out well with it. But my question is, so the Harry album, I only heard the main song and it did not sound as if you needed a quarter million dollars worth of modular synth gear to make this. So, you know, when I think modular synth, you're thinking, you know, Autechre and Aphex Twin and these crazy manipulated alien sounds that can only be made by these crazy patch cables and blah blah blah. So does it sound as if—

no.

Okay.

No, I— what I'm saying to you is I think it, I think it may be the process of him learning it opened their third eye to what is possible. I'm not, I'm not saying they necessarily like exercised all of the, the things that they could have with the technology.

Okay. Okay.

I think it was, I think it was more like just a different way to make music, you know, that they're, than they're used to or whatever.

Sure.

Um, but yeah, I, it does not sound like No, it does not sound like Aphex Twin.

I mean, I mean, not, not that it sounds like Aphex Twin, but just more so, you know, it could be a standard pop song. I'm not expecting it to sound like some insane fucking Detroit techno from, from 1991 or whatever, but more so just like, does it have some, some unique kind of analog flavor to it?

I think there's, there is some analog.

There's definitely some massive plugins.

No, there's definitely some, some flavor to it like that for sure. Uh, I, I just think a little bit of squelch, any of the squelch would go over the fans' heads, you know what I mean? But this one song, I, I think this alternative arpeggiation, this one, this one particular song, I'm like, wow, this is really, really fucking good. And I was so happy to hear it.

And you said the song's called Lick Back, Taste Back, what's it called?

Yeah, it's, it's called Get My Lick Back. It's featuring Big X the Plug, and it's, um, it's— yeah, yeah, it's good. It's Kid Harpoon, it's Kid Harpoon and DJ they kind of got together on this one. It's really, it's something.

Okay.

It's really something.

I'm looking at the track listing. Track number 7.

Polo Da Don. Polo Da Don's on it.

I was just thinking about Polo Da Don. So many musical mentions on this episode. It's going to be hard to choose a song.

Polo, Polo Da Don's got, oh God, that man has some slaps. Woo boy.

Get off Polo dick. Okay. Track number 7, Season 2 Weight Loss. Do you know what that means?

Uh, no, don't know anything about it. I, I like American Girls, of course. It's not a Tom Petty cover. Um, Taste Back, and there's one other one I like, I can't remember which one. But yeah, uh, I haven't read anything about it either. I haven't. I've just— I've seen a couple reviews here and there, and it's very— I feel like it's very, I love this or I hate this, which I sort of respect that kind of response. I think that's cooler than like a 6. I'd rather you'd be like, this is the worst I've ever heard, or I love this. I can't believe how good it is.

He's taking swings.

Yeah. I mean, I don't think this will ever get as much play as the other two for me, but I'm being— I think— I don't know. I'm pleasantly surprised after listening to it that there was at least a couple songs I liked.

Okay. I used AI technology to learn that Season 2 weight loss is a metaphor about the common TV trope. When a TV show becomes successful and returns for a second season, the actors often look noticeably fitter and more polished, having better resources to trainers, nutritional stylists, so the characters come back looking like upgraded versions of themselves.

Huh, that's funny. That's a funny thing. That's a funny turn of phrase then.

I guess he's—

is—

so is he saying that this whole time was just season 1 and season 2 starting now with the synth? Damn, bro.

I don't—

I'm sure he's not that young.

I'm sure it's a metaphor for Olivia Wilde or something that we don't— we couldn't possibly understand.

She did come back with different titties. Okay, so So as we're members of the culinary space, we should talk a little bit about René Redzepi.

I didn't read it because I couldn't care less about what is happening at Noma, but was he a mean— did he— are they saying he like punched motherfuckers in the kitchen?

I have— I did not read the whole thing yet, but I have a paragraph.

Please.

A few paragraphs, but I have a small excerpt of the piece. On a February night in 2014, in the middle of a busy dinner, The acclaimed Copenhagen restaurant. No, no, fine. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Rene orders the entire kitchen staff to follow him outside into the cold. He was showing a sous chef. Sorry, he was shoving a sous chef in front of him, a young man who put on techno music, a genre that Mr. Redzepi dislikes. Well, well, well.

Okay.

Okay, so he started putting on techno in the production kitchen while they're fucking. Okay. Which is far away from the dining room where unpaid interns work 16-hour days performing tasks like picking herbs and cleaning pine cones to adorn the celebrated Nordic dishes. Mr. Radzepe taunted the chef over and over as about 40 cooks in short sleeves and aprons formed the usual circle around the two men. It was not the first time they had been forced to participate in this public shaming, according to two chefs present. Mr. Redzepi escalated the attack, punching his employee in the ribs and screaming, screaming that no one would go back inside until the chef said loud enough for all to hear that he liked giving DJs oral sex. His co-workers stood in silence until the breathlessly— until he breathlessly complied, bro. Then they filed back into the kitchen and returned.

You could have found a chick that would just say that because that's what she feels like. You don't have to do all that. No, that's actually fucking crazy. That's insane.

And even more offensive, we learned that the LA tasting meal that runs for whatever it is, $1,500 ahead, apparently the tentpole ingredient or the star feature dish is cactus.

God, that's like going to Los Tacos and that's the only vegetarian option they got. I ain't paying $1,500 for that.

I'll eat a taco de nopal any day of the week, but I don't want to spend, you know, a month's— a carno on a fucking Hellcat having 7 different expressions of a cactus.

That story is— I mean, now I have to read it. I mean, I didn't know it was— I mean, I'm— I just don't—

hit him with a little kidney shot, pissing reindeer blood for a week.

I just wonder if, if like— I, I guess when this kind of stuff happens, it's been a little while since one of these came out, I feel like, but when it happens, there's usually two sides of like, this is so unbelievable, I can't, I can't understand and the other side is sort of like, yeah, this is how it works in restaurants. Like, it doesn't— there's no sort of nuance to it, really.

It is clearly bad. But what you were just talking about of the two schools of thought, and I think it really is defined by a certain age range cutoff. And, you know, every chef will say, especially in Rodsepi's position and age, that's all we knew growing up. You know, my boss and their boss's boss would do all this stuff, and this is what we know. you know, David Chang has talked about it. All these other chefs have talked about, you know, that's just what you learned and you're a product of your environment and you don't do it anymore, which is some bullshit, but you know, blah, blah, blah. But I was served a video on Instagram a few days ago and there was like a guy who was complaining about this video of like some hardcore band playing. And there was a girl like standing on stage with the camera all in the singer's face with this shooting flash photography and this, the singer like smacks the camera away.

Yeah, I've heard about this.

There's the guy was like whining and complaining about the livelihood of the photographer and the band should be grateful that they're creating content for them for free and blah, blah, blah. And I said, I commented on the post saying like, sometimes you got to smack the camera or whatever, you know, whatever it is. This, and I got a lot of replies. And it is young people who do not understand, you know, how a situation like that works, and they really look at it as if you having a camera allows you to have a VIP wristband pass, do whatever you want, go wherever you want, and do whatever you want. All doors in the world should open up to you. If you have a camera. And that's just not the way I believe it should be. Half the people are defending me and they're all, you know, older people who are, you know, hardcore regulars. And then the young people are saying, you know, it's fucking bullshit. And, you know, it's really a fucked up ignorant take that you think that sometimes you got to smack the camera or whatever, or smash the camera.

I mean, it's just sort of, it's just sort of like if you're going to put yourself in that position, anything can happen, and you just got to be prepared. I don't know, it's not— I don't feel either way, but like, I don't feel either way about it. It's more just like, if you want to take pictures on stage of a hardcore band, that is a possibility of that happening.

And if it happens, it's the same thing.

That's just kind of—

yeah, in LA every weekend they'll take over a random, uh, intersection. They'll start whipping donuts, everyone's partying, people run out into the middle, you know. Sometimes a guy gets hit by a you know, sometimes you go in the, in the mosh pit of a concert and somebody kicks you and you, you lose a tooth or you get a black eye. And that's sort of, you know, what's going to happen if you bring a camera to a hardcore show and you put it in the face of a hardcore band.

If you're on stage, if you're on stage with a hardcore band and you're not like built like a truck or doing backflips off the front of the stage, you got no reason to be there unless you're playing an instrument. That's just how it is.

But that to me, that's also the beauty of a hardcore show environment where it all polices itself. Yeah, sure. There's no security because they can't do anything about it.

Even when Turnstile plays Tiny Desk, somebody's doing a mosh, somebody's jumping off, somebody's doing a backflip.

Someone's going to do it.

Someone's going to do it.

And if you don't know the rules of how a hardcore show works, they'll show you real quick.

That's a cost of doing business. I think working in a kitchen doesn't mean you should get punched in the ribs. You should get made fun of for listening to techno. That's fine. Fine. Uh, but the, the physical violence part is probably a bridge too far for even me.

That is a bridge too far. Whip them with the towel, call them a pussy. They call you a pussy, you, you, you live to do a bump in the alleyway another day.

Making you, making you say in front of your co-workers that you suck DJ Dick is, it's unfortunately very funny, but it's also, that is wrong. That is wrong. And I, I cannot get behind that.

It's very parkland, cozy, you freshman bitches kind of.

Yeah, it really is. It really is. Like, it really is hazing.

The people who've gone through it and survived it are able to laugh and call the young people who haven't gone through it pussies. But, you know, I see both sides.

The problem with this— the problem with this Noma thing is that it's, I would say, years late. Like, Noma's not real, you know what I mean? There's a point where this really would have made waves and been a big deal, and I think now it's sort of like, oh yeah, Noma, you know what I mean? I don't think anybody's thinking about it.

Everyone is okay with sunsetting Noma and René Redzepi at this point. He's already injected and extracted all of the resources out that he's already— I mean, he still can make lots of money for the rest of his life, but he doesn't need to anymore.

Yeah, and he's also— I mean, the damage he's done to the pine cone population is— I mean, I, I didn't want to get into it, but I mean, I don't know if we're going to come back from it. Lives have been lost. This is absolute destruction of an entire species, Jason, that grew wildly. It was It was a resource for all of us.

All the dickless reindeers running around the Scandinavian forests.

It's crazy. What are we going to do? What are we going to do? All right.

Yes.

How Long Gone. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you again to Le Wave for bringing us to Paris. We had a great time.

If you want to buy my inflatable claw invite, I'm accepting offers on Instagram DM.

Between $5 and $10 will probably get them done. Also, shout out to our Montezuma family. What a great place. I really liked it. I'd never been there before and everyone else—

Montezuma, the wine bar.

Everybody else had, but I really liked hanging there. Two nights in a row. It felt like Cheers by the time we were leaving.

It was our Tenants of the Trees, wasn't it?

Well, there was the guy that worked there did look like you quite a lot, which I loved.

He did. He was jeans maxing at the—

He was jeans maxing.

L.A. Wine Bar.

He was jeans maxing. A man of few words. Very polite, though, which I appreciated. Um, yeah, I guess that's it. Uh, we're back with— we have some real, um, powerful females this week, powerful women on How Long Gone.

I noticed powerful women, most mostly in the food space, are going to be featured all through the month of March, actually.

Yeah, who knows, man. You know, some— when it rains, it pours. And thank you to all of our women.

So all that is to say, our apologize— our apologies to Al and Polly in advance.

Yeah, to all of our friends that turn it off when it's a woman, where we apologize. Sorry that we like to host all types of people on this show.

All of our listeners who are so straight they want to hear a woman talk.

Yeah, so there's a few— the few, the proud, because I don't think that's most of them. Um, thank you for listening. Uh, howlonggone.com is the website. We'll be back next week with more podcasts, and, uh, that's it. Thank you, Jason. You can't reason with the sun. Trust us, we've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omni-Shade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your summer at Columbia.com..com to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome. Columbia, engineered for whatever.