926. - Tinx

All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you?

We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Winter is back in New York City. My soul and spirit is suffering, but I'm here today happy to podcast with you, Jason. What's good?

Brrr. Yeah, it is cold over there for you. It's a little chill. I mean, it dropped down to 60s over here. Been tough. Just hit a little Pilates, having my nice little smoothie, having a little green tea. Who am I, right?

Green tea, bro. Are you good? We don't do that over here.

I know. I've been drinking too many coffees lately. I'm trying to—

What's too many? What's too many coffees? And what if you replace that with God's coffee, water?

Of course I'm drinking water all day, every day with a nice blue ice Magna powder. Dusted and shooken into there. But I would say 3 coffees a day is what I'm doing. I want to keep it at 2.

Yeah, 2. I— 2 is my limit as well. 2 is my limit as well. I think that's— well, 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon.

I think my problem is my— I've been, I've been sort of treat-maxing my coffees lately. I've been treatifying it as a reward. So like, I'll go on like— I'll take Bean for like a, you know, a couple, you know, whatever, 2-3 mile walk, grab a coffee. It's a thing. She gets a pup cup. Or I'll like ride my bike up the hill, do hill sprints, and then, you know, maybe we get a cortado at the end, and, you know, these things—

I thought, I thought you meant, I thought you meant you were hitting Dunkin' for a 64-ounce with 8 pumps of caramel, but you're saying, you're saying you're giving it to yourself as a treat? The coffee is not necessarily treatified as ingredients?

Yeah, this, this treat is a cold brew with a splash of whole milk. It's not, uh, okay, okay.

I was hoping for a little more, but, you know, you can't win them all.

It's not a Kahlúa Mudslide.

Oh, you know, sorry. I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sorry. It's all good. It's fine. But yeah, I got my green tea. It's okay. And also green tea is like super good for you, you know, antioxidants.

I know they say that. I believe all that.

Obviously it don't give the kick that you need.

I'm just not going to drink. I'm at this point, I think I'm at a stage where if I don't get a kick from it, it's going to be water. Do you know what I mean? So in your case, if you're not going to get drunk or caffeinated, then like, what are we really doing?

But it's kind of a different kind of caffeinated. Obviously there is a lot of caffeine in green tea. It's happening, but it doesn't— you know, it's like pills. You know about pills? They got the little time-release coating on the outside.

I feel like I could drink a green tea before bed and go to sleep, though. You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. Maybe I just need to have more. I don't know.

Yeah, you should get a jug. You start jugging. Well, so I mean, look, summer's coming. You could do a batch iced. Green tea.

Yeah, I guess I could also do Starbucks bag. I could do a 3-bagger. I just put 3 bags of green tea in my mug instead of one.

Oh yeah, fuck it. Yeah, mask off, bitch. I'm going fucking crazy.

Um, it's—

there's—

for my chi, there's a lot going on.

I mean, we'll get into it, I guess, but this, this Summer House stuff has really hit a fucking— I mean, it's, it's—

oh, I thought you were going to talk about free poosh iced tea in them, but you want to talk Summer House is more—

well, I mean, I guess the guy that used to be in Turnstile tried to run over the singer's dad with a car. We, I mean, we got, it's, it's, there's a lot happening in—

Dark day for hardcore, uh, RIP to, to Bo from the Hard Lore podcast. Unfortunately, I think he killed himself or committed suicide. So RIP, shouts goes out to everyone over there, as well as I guess the turnstile world where, you know, if you kick a guy out of the band because they suck and then he tries to kill your dad, that's a fucking headache, isn't it?

Well, at least Look, it's sad, but at least you knew you were right and kicked him out. You know what I mean? At least you knew, like, you were right. What did he do in turnstyle? Play guitar?

I think so. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You can replace that. Look, everybody—

they did replace him. And things are going quite well for them.

Yeah. Things— yeah, things have gone only up.

Now we need society to replace him with— but it's a crazy person.

It's a crazy day for Lamgoat.com subscribers, though. It's the— this is the most hardcore news I've seen in a day.

Yeah. My, my horns are at half mast today.

Yeah.

I just—

I've really been trying to follow it all. I tried to write an emergency pulling weeds, um, to kind of tackle this Summer House stuff. It still came out this morning. I was trying to get it out Wednesday, but you know, there's, there's a lot going on over there, right?

Yeah, the— so I, I've never seen the show and I've, I've pieced it. So there's two people who— they ended up cheating on someone's best— or like someone's best friend was cheating on their— that's the usual, Tom.

Yeah, it's, it's a little— I think there's, there's details are yet to emerge.

But you are— oh, I mean, to be clear, you are taken aback by this news?

Uh, yes, I'm taken aback. Basically, I'm taken aback by this news because the guy West, who is the, the perpetrator, is just sort of like a guy. And these two women that are, are— that he is, he is, um, juggling, at least publicly. I've heard he's juggling quite a few more behind the scenes. The, the two that he's juggling publicly are arguably some of the hottest women to ever grace the screen of Bravo. Okay, so it's— and Ciara particularly his original flame is an absolute knock. I mean, it's unbelievable.

Okay, Ciara Miller, and then who's the other?

Amanda Batula.

Me, me, Amanda Batula has a little Jar Jar feel to it. Okay, so these are some of the hottest chicas available on, on Bravo.

Ciara is particularly— I mean, we're going to talk about this with our guests because, I mean, I don't— sure, I don't— obviously I don't love to talk about women's looks, but it's something that needs to be said because I think that the— this is sort of like when the nice guy, you know, oh, I'm just the best friend. We flirt, but we're friends. You know what I mean?

It's like when the golden retriever boyfriend got rabies.

Exactly. When your golden retriever from Missouri fucking with a mullet starts blasting off on your chick, you got it. It's—

it's— now I got— now I'm HIV positive because of this damn golden retriever.

It's not unheard of, but it's—

it's—

to see it, I just can't believe that this has happened twice. Like, this is— this is just gold, television gold, in a way that like you you cannot plan for. Even the greatest minds, uh, even Andy Cohen, the greatest mind of reality, the architect, could not, could not plan this.

Yeah, I mean, our hearts go out to Andy as well, what he's going through. His whole ecosystem is tough. And I, of course, have suspended my subscription to Loverboy flirty sodas.

Sure, I knew you had it. I knew you had a monthly delivery.

Well, the Loverboy Cocktail Club has been kind of keeping things lubricated over here, but Until this whole thing shakes out, I of course have put my subscription on hold.

According to last night's episode, Kyle is $2.1 million in the hole personally on his Loverboy brand. So I think that— okay, I think the— I think that a lot of people have unsubscribed from the, from, from the cocktail club based on this, this late-breaking data.

I saw they just posted Drink Loverboy 2 hours ago. How to support Loverboy. We're trying our best, we promise. Here's how you can— here's how you can help our little brand expand and thrive.

It's fascinating because he is—

you can buy it. He—

yeah, exactly, you could buy the whole thing. He's going to— it's one of those cases where he was the villain until yesterday, and now I guarantee you, lover boy, he's gonna— he's gonna be the victor when it all comes down to it. He's gonna win the most from this if he handles it correctly, you know, because he's—

he's— he's just a dog doing what dogs are supposed to do, whereas these two hotties have betrayed the girl code trust, right?

I mean, well, yeah, what's worse than that? I mean, it's literally, hey girly, um, yeah, I, I, it's, it's just too much for me. I've tried to concentrate on other stuff and it's just, I'm coming up empty, you know. It's really, it's really tough to kind of get any work done or, you know, socialize or do anything. So I'm trying to, I'm trying to lock it down.

Um, yeah, well, we, we will, we'll put a pin in that Summer House talk until our guest comes on, who is, I'm sure, deputized and adore, uh, you know, when people are able to perform weddings and they get on the internet, you know, she could legally speak.

Yeah, she could legally speak on this. Yeah, yeah, exactly. She's legally, she's legally able to speak on the matter.

She has all of her certified first certification, all her paperwork's up to date, um, to be able to speak of that. We can talk about other stuff. Um, I guess shout out to our, our TBPN friends getting acquired by OpenAI. Friend of the show Devin said We're going to have to get, we're going to have to sell How Long Gone to Anthropic now. If any, any of our—

I saw a lot of people send it. They're like, oh, you're sending a you up text to anybody you know at Meta right now. If you've got a podcast. Yeah.

I mean, I guess being owned by the company that everyone thinks is the antichrist, I guess number 2 to Peter Thiel.

Yeah.

You know, so there's a little, suspicion going on as to what you're talking about?

I don't, I don't think, I don't think, I just don't think, I think when you come from that world, it doesn't— I think that all of those people really don't see it the way that other people see it, for better or worse.

For sure.

You know, it's like, it's just sort of like, what do you mean? We're just doing business. This is my job. Like, I don't—

the people, the people that work at McDonald's think they're just feeding people and making them happy and not giving them cancer.

Well, they are. They're doing both, and that's the beauty of McDonald's.

And the people at Philip Morris don't think they're doing anything wrong either. The list goes on.

I just don't think that this is like— what these guys are doing is at such a pace that like, you gotta do, you gotta figure something out. You know what I mean? Like, not that this is an exit strategy, but I feel like this buys you a lot of behind the scenes help. You know what I mean? Like, as far as like the daily operations of running something that's this size.

But it's already been running just fine and they already have millions of dollars. So what is this new injection of fundage going through change.

When people think that somebody has quote unquote enough money, I'm always so confused by that because no one actually thinks that.

Well, I'm just—

if you had, if you had $10 million, if you had 10, let's say you had 10, let's say you have $10 million.

Okay, I'll downgrade, see if I can put my head in that mindset.

Go ahead, I'll get into your broke mindset. And, and OpenAI comes to us and says we want to buy HowLongOn for X millions. You're considering the implications of how it looks and the optics of it, which I understand, But you want the money. Everybody wants the money. I don't care how rich you are. I don't care how broke you are. Everybody wants the money. And that's when people like, they don't need any more money. Yes, they do. Everyone wants more money. It's a sad reality of the human condition.

Okay, well, I guess maybe I agree with you across the board. Obviously, there is a little semantics on the need money versus want money. And I want people to be more honest and say, you know, like, I'm sure Will Arnett, when they got their fucking $80 million a year from Amazon or whatever, They're not saying like, oh, we're so happy that now we're, you know, even though I have $80 million in my bank account and we just record this on Zoom from our house in our pajamas, this new cash injection of $120 million will be able to unlock so much backend potential for our content. Just say like, oh, I'm, I, they offered me a shitload of money and I'd be an idiot to say no. So I took it. Just, but that part, just be honest and say I love money.

But that part is, that part's understood to me. That part, that's just like, okay, well then don't say anything at all.

I just, I just hate it when it's like, we're just so excited. The, you know, if you, if you are a tech company and you need $80 million so you can build, you know, new infrastructure and realize your goals and potentials. But if, you know, if you're making a show and it's doing very well and you have a whole staff and team and all the stuff and all the project—

you can always be doing weller and be bigger. That's what I'm trying to say. I mean, sure, but like, it's also like, if I want to branch out and do, you know, 10 shows under this umbrella, yeah. Like there's, you know, I mean, I don't— obviously none of it's necessary, but I'm just like, I don't think it's like— I just— that argument to me is always so funny because any person that says that would take the money and give a similar statement.

Also, the acquisition, does that mean like forever? That's not like a little—

yeah, I'm sure that's forever.

Two-year contract? No, no, that's serious. To, you know, so they own your shit forever. So as an exit strategy, you know, How many shows do you have to do forever?

I mean, it depends on your— well, it depends on your appetite. It's also like you can just leave at any point after whatever, a year or two probably is the case.

Okay. You know, well, if anyone who does TBP is listening to us around, give me a call and let me know how many episodes you have to do in order to get however many millions you got. Just out of curiosity, from one Potter to another.

The other thing that's going on is this. Have you heard of this Chaotic Good Projects? Thing that's happening? No, it's like a digital marketing agency that apparently manufactures fan accounts for musicians. The claims are that this has been— this is like part of the Geese thing, and it's sort of coming to light now. And I guess the company is like wiping their website, but they're saying several people, several artists have used it, like obviously the big ones, but I think it's more about the sort of indie leaning, you know what I mean?

No one's surprised that they've partnered with Bossman D-Lo or IShowSpeed.

Yes, exactly. It's more of a— yeah. So anyway, it's breaking. So just, just check out Chaotic Good Projects on Twitter if you're looking for more information.

Hey, they, they made Luffy into who Luffy is. Okay.

All right. Joining us today is, is I think, I think she's in New York, Tinkz. You probably know her from her book, her social media, her popular SiriusXM call-in show. Where she handles all of your issues. And, uh, Tinks came camera ready today, I would say. Would you, would you say that's true?

I would say that. I feel like Tinks is always camera ready though.

Oh God, you don't have to get ready if you stay ready. Is that your motto?

This is not camera ready. I didn't know if it was, um, video or not, but why not?

It's not video. We don't use video for any purpose. We just talk.

Oh, amazing.

Yeah, there's no video at all.

Amazing, because I look like shit today, so I was like, whatever. But I let that go a long time ago, you know. Once you allow yourself to look ugly on the internet, it's a different type of freedom, especially for a woman.

This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.

A lot of questions. But how often— because we do this podcast 3 times a week and that's a sweet spot— how many times do they do 3 times a week.

And I, I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess.

The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother.

Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, uh, stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch on YouTube. It's 3 times a week. And, and who couldn't use more news, you know, especially especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen, give it a listen. Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water.

He knows how to charge my copay.

Exactly.

That's about it.

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This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month. And this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But the truth is no one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference.

I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most— that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp, Choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over 6 million people globally are using it and, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp. Help.com/howlong. That is better. H-E-L-P.com/howlong.

I feel like we've— I feel like if, if you're dedicated followers, have probably seen you throughout all kinds of haircuts and phases and hangovers and etc.

That's how I got popular, is I was in COVID, I was doing videos where I was like blacked out in my, my studio apartment in LA, like looking horrible.

What were you— what were you blacked out on?

During COVID At the time, I drank a lot of tequila, and I was just like always making myself a margarita, as you do.

What time does Skinny Girl start?

First of all, I have a full sugar margarita.

Really?

That's, that's shocking.

You're the first How Long Gone guest we've ever had who does a non-Skinny Girl margarita out of 925 episodes. What's up with that?

I just— I— you need a little bit. That's not gonna be like what makes you fat, is my honest opinion. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're not fat, so living proof.

Take it from someone who knows.

Take it from a non-fatty.

Yeah, I did want to ask because I, I didn't— you know, I'm familiar with a lot of funny WASP nicknames, you know what I mean? But Tinks isn't giving WASP nickname, it's giving something special.

A WASP would never X. I, I—

a WASP would never X. And do I really look like a WASP to you? No, no, you don't.

No, you don't. That's what I'm saying. And this is an— this is an unfamiliar a familiar nickname for me.

When I was 12, I watched this movie, and in it there was this character called Tinka Parker, and she was like the slutty popular one. And I was like, I'm gonna have an alter ego called Tinka Parker. So I came back from summer, and I was like, guys, my alter ego is Tinka Parker. Like, she's really cool. Like, she's different than me, so address me as such. And it stuck. And then Tinka Parker became Tinka, and then it got shortened to Tinks. And that's the honest-to-God genesis of my name.

What's that? What's that movie?

It's called Strike. It's about an all-girls school that is being threatened to become co-ed, and it actually has like amazing people in it. It's an amazing movie. And I actually ended up meeting the daughter of the director, and she's like my friend now randomly. And it was, it was like supposed to be a bigger movie. And then somehow—

that's what they all say.

No, but it was like, it was like like somehow she told me like Harvey Weinstein fucked it, which like of course he did.

Harvey really will put it in anything.

Look, don't sleep on Harvey. Like obviously Harvey's an awful man, but the guy could produce, right?

But, but, uh, yeah, but he got in an argument with her dad or something and so he kind of like scuppered the movie, or I can't remember the exact story, but it's an amazing movie. It's on Amazon Prime. Like it's actually like an incredible watch. Um, like Kirsten Dunst is in it. Like it's great. So that is— and if you watch it, you will see Tinka Parker, which is the character that my whole persona is based off of.

Do you, do you do a rewatch yearly to kind of remind yourself where you come from? Okay, good, good.

Yeah, I remind myself where I came from, and honestly, it hits every time. It's just, I feel like movies from— I don't know how old you guys are, but from when I was growing up, like, I feel like I can watch them over and over again. But every movie made in the past, like, 10 years, I will only ever watch once. Like there aren't a lot of new movies where I'm like, oh, I'm going to watch that like as much as I watch Devil Wears Prada or something like that. Like the new movies, I'm like, yeah, there's a few good ones, but they're kind of like one and done.

Sure.

Yeah.

Well, I think for the most part I agree with that.

Unless it's Once Upon a Time in Hollywood or Tar, it's not— there's not a lot of rewatchability for me.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of nostalgia, but I think that's what's the vic— the real—

it could be that.

I know.

And also I do think that— and I talk about this too much, but I think the length pause. I think that, I think that the hour and a half versus 3 hours is a very different thing.

Who the fuck has 3 hours? Every filmmaker is like, so British when you said that.

Who the fuck has 3 hours?

But I agree, I am British.

That's right, it came out a little bit.

What part of British are you?

I grew up in London. Every director is so self— it's like a masturbation. Like, our attention spans are getting shorter. Why are you making movies longer? Like, you— it's like it Honestly, it annoys me because it makes me feel like they think this is the last time I'm going to go to the movies. And I'm like, no, I'll keep coming to see your movies if you make them a normal length. But it perturbs me when I go to the, to the cinema and it— they're— I'm like locked in for 3 and a half hours.

Okay, well, you said attention spans are shrinking and it's all of our fault as content creators making 90-second videos on our phone. If the average standard runtime is 90 minutes, do you think we should lower film— make a film 53 minutes or something for our attention spans.

90 minutes is the perfect length for a film. Anything over than that, over that, get a better editor. I could have stripped 30 minutes out of Marty Supreme clean. Okay, go ahead, cancel me, I don't give a shit. Okay, I could have stripped out— you give it— if you uploaded Marty Supreme into my little CapCut app, I would have stripped 30, 40 minutes out of that shit, no problem. Okay.

With respect, and you would do it without a credit. You didn't— yeah, none of that union bullshit. You'll knock it out in an afternoon. Look, they could have shaved 30 minutes of just ping pong alone.

I agree, I could have done it for them pro bono, but whatever. I'm here for the next movie.

Well, this is— I mean, we've talked about this a lot on, on how that movie just sort of came and went low-key, and it like— it's kind of crazy that like it was so insane and it's— but it's over.

And, and how much of that do you attribute to the hype around it versus the actual content of the film?

I think he flew too close to the sun. I think it was— I think it was entertaining, entertaining, entertaining, and by the time the movie came out, people just didn't really care that much anymore.

Yeah, you know, I think it was the content. I think it was a perfect plan. The only thing it has to do is be a perfect movie, and it wasn't.

I think it can become— it can get to a point where it's the press is bigger than the movie, and then that always doesn't end well kind of thing. I mean, I, I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it, but I didn't feel that it was equal to the amount of hype that they had.

Well, nothing could be. That's, that's what I mean. Like, it was an impossible feat, which is—

yeah, I think, I think the problem is people like the, the marketing rollouts of things more than the actual thing because you can quantify it with data versus having to form an opinion on the art itself.

That's— yes, I agree. I think we all need to hold hands and say enough with this stuff because I actually don't want my— the actors in the movies that I see to be like dancing puppets for a year in advance of the movie coming out. I actually don't want to see them on TikTok, okay? Like, like, God, you know, thank God Leo's— he's already in that category where he doesn't have to do it. But I mean, You know, if it, if it was, he was 30 now, they would have had Leo doing fucking TikTok dances.

That is crazy to think about, actually.

You know, it's true.

And it's like, well, we're not going to have any real movie stars anymore because you guys, we all make them do this stuff. And it's like, ask them these fucking embarrassing questions and roll.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, we're part of the problem with that now. Come on now.

No, no, no, we're not. We're not. Because we can ask cool questions, or you can also ask like Like Tim Dillon was just talking about Amy Poehler's podcast, like, brilliant comedian, love her down, blah, blah, blah. You come on the show and we're doing 20 minutes on what time do you go to bed?

No.

What's your favorite color? Do you like pizza or chicken?

I'm not talking about that.

Okay.

I'm talking about when they have these, like, journalists go to, like, the press junkets and they're sitting in the room and they're, like, asking them these questions. Like, it's just— it's— I don't— and it's too much. It's also too much. You know, I see like the blood draining from their faces as the months go on and I'm like, that's real.

That's real.

I'm like, Margot Robbie's been on a press tour for 3 years straight. Like, someone check on her. Like, let her go home. Why is she still doing press?

I forgot. I forget that. I forget that Margot Robbie is doing press. I just think that's what she does. Like, I forgot there's a—

I'm like, get her a house. She deserves to rest. She's very beautiful and she needs her beauty.

Get her a room for the night. Get her a room for the night. Hot shower and a clean—

I mean, come on, she's going through it. She looked good as hell, but she's going through it.

It's a shame that she's living out her best years of her life on a perpetual press junket for the rest of— and, and where 99% of the questions are, yeah, I feel so sorry. Did you have fun making the movie? Was the movie good or bad? Oh, it's good. Awesome.

I feel so sorry for Margot Robbie wearing Chanel every day in the airport and, you know, having sexual tension with Jacob Elordi. She's really She's going through it, guys.

Yeah. Do you think that— do you think that she's American cheating with Elordi?

God, no. I don't really find them to have a ton of chemistry. Okay. I think so. Obviously, they are two of the most beautiful people on planet Earth. I give them that, like, 10 out of 10. Both of them.

Yeah.

Perfect specimens.

Shag them both.

For me, in order for someone to be sexy, they have to have something a tiny bit ugly about them. Like, it just has to be like a little thing. I could not find a flaw on Margot or Jacob if I tried. They are literally perfect and I love them and I love— I think they're both very talented. But for sex appeal, for me, I'm not wanking to Jacob Elordi. You know what I mean? He's just—

well, what if, what if you knew Jacob Elordi had a weird dick?

That wouldn't do it for me either, because, because he gets all the privilege of a perfect looking person.

Yeah, that's actually— yeah, that's like a fake. You're right.

By the time it gets down to it, you're still going to fuck his weird dick, right?

Yeah.

Okay. So, yeah, but also if he had like fucked up teeth, that would make him hotter, right?

100%. Yeah, 100%.

How about I— I mean, I would say that his haircut is offensive enough, but that could be changed.

I think it's— I think he's perfect looking. I think he's like so, so handsome, good actor, all that good stuff. I'm just saying, for sex appeal, I'm more of a like Benicio del Toro gal, you know? Not saying that he— he's just a bit more like Rough and ready. Yeah, yeah. Like, that's just my type, you know? But amazing actors, both of them love their work. Like, so happy that they're so hot.

Has Benicio slid into the DMs yet?

Not yet. I'm hoping any day now. Any day now.

BDT. Yeah, yeah.

We—

I met him when he was at that W party a couple of months ago, and he, he has the aura when he walks in the room. Leo's there, all these crazy people are there. He walks in the room, he's wearing like a hoodie underneath his suit. He's got like a beer when everyone is just having champagne and everyone's just like, Fuckin' Benicio del Toro. He's the guy.

He has aura. Yeah, it is.

How old is he actually though? I feel like he's 60.

I don't know, he's like 50.

I know he's older than 50. There's no way.

Really?

He's, he's got to be touching 59.

Yeah, 59.

I knew he was closer to 60 then.

Like a fine Puerto Rican wine.

Yeah.

You know, we were talking about this before and, and I— we waited to kind of get you on because we thought we might have an expert in our, in our midst, but the the sort of the summer house of it all.

Oh, I just spoken about— I'm sorry, I can't speak about it anymore. I'm all— I'm tapped. I did an hour of radio on it. I can't talk about it anymore. I'm sorry.

I just need to know— I just need to know what team you're on.

There's no shadow of a doubt that I'm Team Sierra.

Interesting.

And you could please refer to It's Me, Tinks Live to go listen to the latest episode.

It's a full breakdown. Chris, why do you find that interesting?

I find this honestly, this feels like a no-fault case to me a little bit. I think everybody played their— I think everybody played the game and everybody wins and everybody loses. It doesn't feel like anybody—

That's very straight white male of you.

Oh, here we go. I just don't think— I think if you go on to re— I just don't think that like the rules are different if you're on a reality show whoring yourself out. I think the rules are a little different. And I would say Weston Sierra did not date for that long. I don't think it was a serious relationship.

Yeah, I think that that makes sense. Knowing the very little I know about you, I think that makes sense that that is your opinion on that.

I will say though, this is the question I truly want to ask you, is what is Wes— what do we think Wes is working with? Because those two are arguably the hottest, two of the hottest women on Bravo. So what do we think Wes— what do you think?

Is he the—

is just the golden retriever?

What's his Benicio factor?

Yeah, what is his Benicio factor?

I honestly don't know. I truly don't know.

But if he shot— but you're saying you wouldn't give him the time of day?

He's like, not my type.

Okay.

What if he caught you slipping at Barney's Beanery? 3 margs in.

I'm— I don't go to Barney's Beanery because I, unlike men, I know what bars are appropriate for my age.

Okay.

Okay. Well, I mean, you— I heard you say that influencer events are bad places to pick up men because there's only women and gay guys there. Which I took as a little offense as a person who attends a lot of influencer parties as a straight. But where, where are we going to pick up these men if it's not The Bean?

I don't know. I always just tend to meet people out and about or like at a, you know, at a bar, dinner party, not where— there's no, there's no spot. People always ask that.

You're saying it's not— you're saying it's, it's, it's, it's stuff that isn't branded. It's stuff that's not put on by— not put on by a sponsor.

Okay, got I think like it's not— people always want like a magical secret place where all the perfect straight men like go. And if we— if there was one, we would know by now. But there, there isn't. It's more like an attitude that you have to have. And a lot of people— look, dating sucks right now and like meeting people is really hard these days. But I think a lot of people also don't have the energy of wanting to meet people. They think they do, but they're so like app-focused that when they go out with their friends, they sit hunched together in a circle, you know? And then they're like, no guys, talk to us. And I'm like, because you guys look like you're like cuddling over a witch's brew.

Like, there's, there's no, like, there's no open body language. You're not giving approach me.

We got the, we got the cauldron going and we got the cauldron going.

It looks like you're doing spells in the corner. You're not making eye contact.

Like, I'm not going to offer any of these hoes a bump. They're freaking me out. Yeah.

Like, You have to like have open energy. You have to have like shoulders back, like eyes looking. You have to look at like— and like, people— and tits out. Like, talk to people. And like, like, the last two guys that I like dated a little bit, one I met on the street because he was passing by. He knew my friend. I was like, oh my God. And he started talking, whatever. There was a vibe, whatever.

Damn, like an Usher video and pick you right up off the sidewalk.

New York. Yeah, that's, that's, that's New York.

Hey ma, hey.

Yeah, hit you with the hey ma City Bike and it worked. That's crazy.

It works crazy. And then the other guy I met, um, I met at a, at a like a fun bar in London and like we dated a little bit. So it's like, you, it is possible. And people, because people always bitch at me when I say to my followers, like, I'm like, guys, you have to go out. Like, you have to be outside. And they're like, well, you go to all these like events. And I'm like, I don't meet the guys there. They're, they're, like I said, gay guys and influencers at those parties. You have to go out. And it has to be like an attitude. There's no magical bar restaurant with all the hot people. It's just like an openness you have to have. You have to assume like there's a hot person in every situation. There's a hot person at your coffee shop, there's a hot person at the party you're going to, and really like have that energy, and you'll find that you do find people that way.

You just gotta be outside with some motion. There's no, there's no magic. Yeah, bar—

no one is going to come and knock on your door while you're sitting at home on the app.

Well, you're, you're in a good position, I feel like, because you get to dole out this advice for living. And yeah, I feel like men might not be as familiar with you as women.

No, they are.

Oh, they're—

my wife left my ass because of you.

But I just— so you're saying that men are familiar with you, at least, at least by sight?

Yeah, well, or they'll like look at my profile and it will be like a turn-off. They'll be like, oh, I don't want to be with someone who's on a radio show, like, who has a big mouth.

Sure. Yeah, no, you're, you're not everyone's flavor.

I'm not everyone's flavor. No, no, no. Um, So yeah, it hasn't worked hugely to my advantage in terms of romantic interests.

Well, that's, that's the— obviously my other question, it's like, I, I do like that you're able to give out this love advice while not being in a relationship. I think that is— I, I think you, you've— because you, you have the experience but you're not locked down.

That's the thing that every— like, that's the TikTok comment is like, oh, chronically online, chronically single tinks giving out relationship advice, but There's a couple parts to that. First of all, first of all, I think the reason— first of all, I don't think it's funny that I just think it's funny. First of all, you can't rush time. If you believe that you can't rush timing, which I do, then you need to find a way to be happy when you're single. So I think a lot of girls follow me because I, I'm very fulfilled and I have a very happy life, but I'm single.

And you do honestly, you do seem happy as hell. I, I will say that.

I, I am like truly so happy. Like, I, I really love my life And I love being single. And I think for a lot of women, I think it feels hard to accept full happiness when you're not with someone. And getting to that point is so freeing. And my, my thought is like, I want to be in love. Like, I'm not being defensive or hard about that. Like, but why would I waste like the hottest years of my life being like, oh my God, like I'm not married yet. Like, oh my God, like why would I waste these hot years? I have an amazing friend group. I love my job. I love New York. I love to travel.

Like, not a single gray hair on the head. Get out there.

Well, she sees her colorist, I'm sure.

Yes. Jennifer. Thanks, Jennifer.

I knew your ass was going to say Jennifer hair. Goddamn it.

And then the second thing is like, yes, I haven't been married, so, you know, I can't speak to what it's like to be in a 50-year relationship or whatever. But like a lot of the time, married people's advice to single people is really out of touch. And they don't really understand what goes on in the day-to-day.

So they're not in the trenches. The game has changed.

They don't know about like the— how— what it is to be on Hinge or what it is to be dating, you know. So I think that's also why people don't—

I, I— no, I think that's true. I think that's— I think married people are unreliable advice givers. Like, what am I going to say to my 30-year-old homie who can't figure it out, you know? I have nothing to offer.

Yeah, exactly.

Do you, um, do you, do you feel like you have to strata— as somebody who is this influential person and you're a role model to a lot of people. Have you considered the, the story arc of your life? At what point are you going to get married? At what point are you going to have kids and sort of transition into act 2 and 3 of your influencer career?

I think like right before I start getting ugly, I'll get married.

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I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

You're like, because you're 21 now, so I guess I'm 21 now. You have another 10 years.

Yeah, the problem, guys, is that I feel like zero pressure.

Like, that's the problem, is that even from your team, they don't have a 5-year plan for you.

They're not like, have you seen the stroller money you can get? Because it's pretty big.

No, I know.

But do your parents— there's— and there's— your parents aren't— your parents are cool.

No, they're like, I feel boastful saying this, but I literally have the life that I always dreamed of, and I'm so happy every day. I— they're— and they know that. They see that.

Damn, I feel like I'm in— I feel like I'm in AA after getting my chart read. This is fucked up. You're doing— you're saying all the— goddamn, you got all of it going on.

All right, so, okay, so who does your ketamine therapy then?

Yeah, what are you doing? Because there's more.

This ain't just like, I'm hot, I smoke weed every day, I'm that happy, what's going on?

There's more going on. You're doing something fucked up, and you need to tell us.

No, I, I think when you do something that you feel like you're good at, and I genuinely feel like I'm good at radio and, and like building this, building community and like talking to the girls. And, and to be honest, being an influencer, I feel like I'm good at it. I think that is one of the best experiences that a human being can have alive, is like doing something that you enjoy and that you feel like you're good at, which sounds woo-woo, but I think, I think back to times when I was sad in my life and it was because I felt like I didn't, wasn't fulfilling my potential or I wasn't like creatively fulfilled. So this this time in my life is the opposite of that, where I feel—

that's a good way to look at it. That's a good way to look at it.

And I have really great friends. Like, I have awesome friends that every day I, I'm so— I can't believe they're my friends. Like, they're so funny and we have such a great time together.

And I got to figure this out then. I hate every— I, I got to figure it out. My friends suck. My job sucks.

Chris, we have a great group chat. Come on, bro.

The group chat has 3 people in it. Does that even barely count?

I—

because I know Tinky, she's in 15 group chats and I bet they're top in 10+. Us?

15. Yeah, no, they're, they're really good group chats.

You have one for length, one for girth, one for circumference.

Actually, my, my main group chat that I speak to most is called Fat Cock PR, so it's funny that you—

Wow.

Could you, uh, dive a bit deeper on the etymology of that beautiful title?

What do you mean by that exactly? If you don't—

Yeah, if you— He means like you find a fat cock and you let your My cleaning lady just heard me yell.

It was actually weirder. It was just like one time we were drinking and I— and we were like saying like, I don't even remember, it was just like, oh, if we had a PR agency it would be called Fat Cock PR. Because like, imagine being like, I'm represented by Fat Cock.

Just hit me, it's [redacted email]. Yeah, I just want to email me.

It has a real— with the name, like, smuckers, we gotta be good kind of thing. Yeah, I don't know why these guys are called Fat Cock, but I'm interested.

I'm I'm like so much more vulgar than my followers know. Like, they kind of know, but like my humor with my friends is like so immature and like so vulgar.

So you ever had to delete one of those stories, little 4 AM whoopsie-daisy stories where you go a little too vulgar?

Oh yeah, I mean, I've said stuff on my podcast where I'm like— I mean, again, yeah, I just sometimes I'm like, shut up. But it's okay, it's all, it's all part of it.

Well, I was following, I was following along this weekend and it was— I felt like the content with your mom, you were at the ranch with your mom, that was so wholesome. It was, I know, it was a little too It was too wholesome.

Yeah, that was a bad time to start.

But I also wanted to say, and don't take this the wrong way, Mom looking good.

She's good. Yeah, it's like, you know, she's, she's holding up there looks-wise.

So, Mom, that's— I'm just saying, like, for you, that must, you know, you kind of know what's coming down the pipes.

Yeah, it's good. And she doesn't have any work done, whereas I'm like, put me under. Like, I'm gonna—

yeah, Mom's nutty.

She's all nutty. And so for me, I'm like, my aging strategy is do not go gentle into that good night. I'm like, whatever.

We're injecting the glow straight into our eyeball.

Everything. Like, if you told me to eat glass because it would make me younger, I would. So I like— I'm not afraid of a needle. I'm not afraid of a scalpel. I'm not afraid of a laser.

But are you okay? So what do you— do you think, though? So you don't have a line? Like, you're kind of like, whatever will work, I'll do it.

Works. I'm very vain, and I think it's good to be like upfront about like like that. And I, I'm very, very vain. Like, I, I like looking good, I like feeling good. And, you know, I'll get a facelift in like a couple years. Like, who cares? I don't— I, I want to look good while I'm, you know, while I feel good, you know what I mean?

Do you follow— do you— now, when there's new sort of, uh, procedures that are taking women by hold, do you take— do you— are you research— do you hear about it from— for where are you getting your information on what to do?

I guess it's like cock PR mostly.

Backhawke PR.

Yeah.

Inbound, inbound from—

well, all my different doctors are like, oh, this laser and this, and you know, this peptide and this, this.

What's the doctor— what's the doctor roster right now? Like, how many— what do we— how many doctors do we have?

It's long. I like to play them off against each other too. So I'll be like, well, they said, you know, that I shouldn't do this, and they said this.

You have it. You have a— you have a GP and a gynecologist, of course, but then we have— then where do we go from there.

Then we have, we have like dermatologists, we have plastic surgeons, we have injectors, we have facialists, we have the personal trainer, we have, you know, the guy who prescribes me the Xanax, psychiatrist, psychologist, psychiatrist, whichever one that is. You know, I like to be staffed up.

You're staffed up.

I like to be staffed up. Like, I, I love to hire, you know, hire for your weaknesses. Everything's— almost everything is a weakness for me, so I like to be stacked the fuck up.

I guess, and we can ballpark it, but what do we think the monthly spend is on personal upkeep? Because they say LeBron, you know, spends $1 million a year on his body.

I'm almost at LeBron level.

All right, you're— you're okay. So you're saying there's no dollar— there's— if it works, I'll pay for it.

Yeah. And it's like, I am I'm single, I don't have children. Like, I— if I want to spend my money on myself, and I feel like I— it bums me out because I feel like women are more judgmental to other women about how they spend money, whereas guys, if like— if a guy online buys like a watch, all the guys are like, bro, so sick, like, I want one too.

Where every woman is like, I want— I can't wait till I get a Birkin. And then someone gets a Birkin, they're like, whoa, wow, must be nice.

Not even, it's like women are just judged. I find like sometimes people are judgy about the money that I spend on myself. They're like, wow, you get a lot of facials. I'm like, yeah, I do. I love it. It's my money. Like, that's how I choose to spend my money. Like, it, it's, it's relaxing to me and I love how—

haters be damned. I agree. I know, I agree with you. I think women should be empowered to spend their money however they want.

However you want, you know.

Like, also for the listeners, Tinks has what, 2 carats in each ear? We got the tennis bracelet on. I mean, you know, it's not— it's a light day too. You thought you weren't even those are, those are Nick Lachey teardrops right there. That's a big boy. That's big.

I bought them myself. I bought them myself, and that makes me so happy. Like, and I don't like to be too much of that, like, I hate that vibe of like, did it myself. Like, I, I just like don't think that's like necessary. But there are certain moments where I'm like, I'm like really proud that I bought myself these earrings. Like, I wanted them, I designed them, and like, I, I bought them for myself. And like, that does make me proud. So yeah, but I don't like the whole like, I don't know, I think it's like bad energy to be boastful at all about. And I also just don't think that's like a helpful narrative to be like, eh, like, yeah, I did it myself.

I agree.

Women are annoying as hell with that shit too. They like to—

Andrew Tate was gonna buy me this car, but I said no. I saved up and did it all by myself.

I got my own ugly Ferrari. It's sick.

I want to motivate women to be financially independent so that they can have money to do whatever they want and to always be strong and never have to like settle or make a decision based on money. And I don't think the way you do that is by being like, oh my God, guys, look at these huge earrings that I bought. Like, I try to be really careful about that because the reason that I want every one of my followers to be rich is so that they never have to do anything that they don't want to do.

Mm-hmm.

Real talk.

Real talk. And if you don't have kids either, then you really don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

You don't have to. Yeah.

Well, I know that you are a little, you know, you study a little of the Scott Galloway scriptures. And I was listening to your pod.

Don't tell me this, Jason. I liked her.

Well, more so on, you know, on the imbalance of men and women and the dating pool. 90% of the women are looking for 10% of the male population. It's tough out there. What do you think? You know, you obviously have a large female listenership, some male as well. We have a large male listenership, believe it or not.

Yeah.

You know, what are, what are some tips that we can give some of these fellas to, you know, make them a little bit more If they're trying to, if they're trying to bag an independent chick like you, what do they gotta bring to the table?

I think women wanna see that men are motivated and curious, and that really crucially does not mean rich. It just means that you have like a motivation and a curiosity towards life and a curiosity towards you as well. Yeah.

Yes, gotta make a bitch feel seen, right?

No, but, but like, you would be shocked that one of the biggest problems that women have with dating today is men do not ask questions on dates. This is one of the biggest things that I found in my own life, my followers have found, and it's like because they genuinely don't care. And I don't know if that's like because it's the girl, that specific girl, or if it's because they're just lazy or because they're rude or stupid or they don't know how to have a conversation. But I one time went on a date and I I was talking to this guy and I decided to time it because I could tell off the bat what kind of guy.

Oh hell yeah.

And it was literally 38 minutes before he asked me a question. And I was like— and I'm like, I get it. I'm, I'm like on my Anderson Cooper shit when I go on a date. Like I'm asking the good questions and a guy starts to feel comfortable, I start to give him a little bit of a free therapy, you know, we get into the zone and he's just comfortable, whatever. But like a conversation is two ways and when you go on a date date, you have to be curious about the other person. But it's— but it's— for me, it's like also more than that. I just feel like a lot of guys, they don't have like extracurricular curiosity. They're just kind of like, work, gym, you know, I'm now— I'm on this— this Hinge date, whatever. Whereas all my girlfriends are like, I woke up at 6 and I went to yoga, and then I made muffins for the thing at my school, and then I did my— and then I read this book and this is what I thought about it, and then I went to my job and I took on extra work.

I was doing too much.

I ain't gonna let you— you know what, I'm not gonna let you do this because All my, all my homies, we got interests, okay? I'm not talking about the golf course, I'm talking about real extracurriculars.

Okay, good.

I'm only friends with askers.

Yeah, I think Jason and I are in a privileged position to be surrounded by askers.

Yeah, I think you guys, like, it's not you guys' friends who are— I'm talking about, I'm talking about on the whole. Like, there is that, that stat that's like, um, 49% of men aged 19 to 25 have never asked a woman out in person. That's a problem.

That— no, that is—

that's a big problem.

How much do you think like social media, porn—

I'm very— you can just open your Instagram and I'm very anti-porn. I, I like really believe in changing your mind when you get new information. And I used to be very like, oh guys, don't be— like to my followers I would say don't be too harsh about porn. Like it's— I believe in like having your own sexuality even if you're in a relationship. Like don't shame people if they're watching whatever. And then I read this article and and it completely changed my mind about porn. And I think that porn is probably like the number one damaging thing in society for both men and women. It is completely destroying libidos. It's completely destroying our dopamine receptors. It's making sex suck, and it's way too readily available, and it's only gonna get more advanced. It's like your brain wasn't supposed to nut to like 4 tabs of high-def, like tits in 4K with a pussy that looks like it was crafted from a piece of fucking beige Play-Doh. Like, that's not what your brain was supposed to nut to. And if you do that 7 nights a week, on the 8th night when you go on a date with a sweet girl and you try to have sex with her and you can't get hard, well then what happens? Then she feels fucking horrible about herself. You have shame about it. And instead of going on another date the next week, you say, you know what, I'm gonna stay home and I'm gonna jerk off to 4K porn and perfectly, you know, pink pussies. And then you, you know, then that's—

wait, what's up?

What's the URL on that one?

Yeah, so I've been porn-free for over a year.

Okay, congrats, congrats. Well, I mean, I— do you think that because of that 4K porn that we all have access to every day Do you think that men have just never been curious about women, but back in the day they had to because it was the only way they were going to be able to see these titties in 4K and see these PPPs? And now that we have, yeah, all of it on our phone, it's so much easier to just be like, eh.

I mean, I'm very, very aligned with Scott Galloway on this stuff, and I think he talks a lot about, you know, that his biggest motivator to become wealthy and you know, look good and go to the gym was to meet girls. And now that that's removed, now that you don't have to, like, you can go and like have a fucking AI girlfriend and you can watch porn and you don't have to go outside, like, what is the motivation to like go out and get buff and get, you know, get, get a good job?

Other guys, that's the sad thing. Guys are doing that for other guys. I really know, I really believe that. Like, women don't give a fuck. They don't care if you— they don't need you to be buff. I mean, sure, it's fine, but that's not like the— that, that is for the way women dress for women. Men work out for men. I do believe that.

I agree with you, because I— yeah, I agree with you. I mean, I also think like 80% of men are gay, but we don't have to talk about this. I don't have the answer.

What the hell?

What do you mean 80%?

Well, I— we don't have to go into it today.

Yeah, you can't— you can't just say a dope-ass sentence like that and say, but I'm too tired.

This sounds like you're— you're kind of going with your gut on this, and you maybe don't have any way to back it up.

Okay, okay, well, I'm not asking for your— your body count, but how many gay guys have slept with?

A couple.

A couple.

Okay, okay. Have you considered just, just marrying and dating a gay guy?

I asked my best friend to get married every day. He's gay, and I'm like, please, I'm fucking begging you. Then everyone would stop bothering me, and I could just say, oh, I'm married, and then everyone would leave me alone.

Yeah, when you marry a gay guy who's publicly gay, no one will ask you any questions about it anymore, right? That'll up forever.

You guys can share an eyebrow guy, it'll be great. It's perfect.

Okay, so he's— so he's gay and he's also your type?

He's just like the best, and I, I love spending time with him more than anyone else on the planet. And I think you're supposed to marry your best friend, so we give him a shout out.

What's it— what's his name? What's his Yeah, what's his name?

His name is Adam.

I bet Adam sees some nice runoff from being friends with Tink. I bet Adam's— I bet Adam's getting some good dick thanks to that friendship. He's saying, you're my best friend too, I love you, I love hanging out with you.

Met this guy in the green room at the poppy— the poppy dinner. I'm gonna go skiing tomorrow.

No, and then I used Tink's Starbucks code and the barista asked me to go to the bathroom with him.

I'm dead.

That's nice. Honestly, that's a good friend for that. That works for everybody.

It works for— it's mutually beneficial.

Yeah, a little bit of a, a non-sequitur as to what we're talking about, but a question popped up when I was listening to your pod on my on my hot girl— wait, what do you call the hot girl walk on your pod?

Rich Mom Walk.

Rich Mom Walk. Got it.

That's mine.

Yeah, that's mine.

Okay, Rich Mom Walk. Are you, um, why do you hate pranks so much?

Because they're the lowest form of humor. They're, they're humor— it's humor for stupid people. It's like, if you can't sling a joke, if you're not witty, if you're not quick— wit is the fastest way to to show how intelligent you are.

I thought you're gonna say fastest way to some PPP, but yeah, that works too.

Pranks are so stupid. Like, I hate April Fools'.

Nobody wants to hop on prank dick at all.

I hate pranks. But I needed another question for you because I, I hate board games. I think those are also for losers. Okay, good. I knew you—

okay, how do you feel, how do you feel about Johnny Knoxville. Old grizzled guy, hot, but a master of pranks.

Tough.

I have a soft spot for him because like it's nostalgic. I, I grew up watching Jackass and, and that sort of prank is like a little bit more acceptable to me because it was more like contained within their friend group and it was the, you know, it was known. But when I get on TikTok and they're like, like pretending to my husband that I got a bob, I'm like, I want to kill myself. Like, this is insane. It's couples— of all the pranks, couples pranks on TikTok that are clearly pre-planned. Like, if you wanted to torture me, you would just put me in a room and you would make me watch those pranks on—

I didn't know this. I'm not on TikTok, so I didn't realize this was such a trend. This is like a thing.

Yeah. And then the worst part is that like stupid people think that it's real and they're like, oh my God, like, that's so funny, you got your hubby.

And I'm like No, babe, don't worry, I didn't cut my hair.

We need these people though. These people are our customers at the end of the day.

Yeah, because your customers are some regular ass chicks. That, that's real talk. Real talk. Don't do that. No, not in a bad way.

I'm saying that you've captured my customer. My followers are coastal elite, upwardly mobile, smart bitches who always come.

I mean, wow.

I look— I didn't know. I'm not dissing your customers. I'm not saying I'm not dissing your custies. I'm just saying that I feel like you have a, you have a quality that would attract someone, like a woman who wants—

you have a far-reaching appeal.

Yeah, well, I, well, aspirational appeal with attitude. With attitude.

I think I'm, I'm like, I, I respectfully only think that smart people like my content. So there's not that many smart people, you know what I mean? Like, I'm—

yeah, you know, like, my, my, the few, the proud.

The, you know, my followers are very smart. They're, they're girls who They work hard. They want the best for themselves. They want the best for the world. They know what's going on. They have interests. They have, you know, they have hobbies. They're just— they're really cool. I'm really lucky.

They don't need to get married, right?

Who needs to get married? I have all these hobbies and stuff. I'm super happy. I listen to things 3 times a week on SiriusXM.

Oh gosh, I want them all to find happiness and love, but I, I, I'm not gonna say that, you that they should be miserable until they find it.

No.

And also a lot of married people listen to me too.

Well, also a lot of people are miserable. That's also— that ain't nobody gonna help them, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And if you could get them to buy some colostrum in the meantime while they're hunting for Chris from Hinge, so be it, right?

I mean, we're in the same—

who, who is, who is Chris from Hinge? Is that just a fake character that you talk about?

That's just a fake character that I talk about because like all the Hinge guys do kind of blend into And they're like, oh, I would prefer maybe I would prefer, I would prefer maybe a different name. I know, but it's Chris from Hinge. It's from my first book. It's like Chris from Hinge.

It's really funny though.

Okay. So you, you're, so we're not Hinge-y too much. We're doing IRL interactions, but are there, do we still have Raya up on the phone?

I just am not into the apps. I've never dated anyone from the apps.

No Raya at all?

Well, like I've gone on dates, but I haven't had a boyfriend from any of the apps.

I just haven't locked in.

Do you have any apps on your phone right now?

Well, so, okay, I got unbanned from Field last week, which is a really big deal because I got—

Field? Are you looking for a fat chick? What are you doing on Field?

Okay, so the, so the, the judge—

I got banned.

Judge Judy banned you from fucking Field? What were you doing? Field is for freaks. What were you doing? Did you put a thumb in a barista's ass without asking?

What the fuck did you do? I got, I got banned because I— someone thought that I was impersonating me. So for a year I didn't have it, and then I was like, it really annoyed me because like I just was so curious about it. And so I like did the emails last week and I finally got through to them and they unbanned me. So I went on, but then I got scared and I logged off again. So TBD on field.

What, what, what are you doing on field?

You don't need to be on field. What the hell? Go to the— go to the fucking Meadow Lane in Tribeca and stand there for 5 minutes. What the fuck you doing on field?

It sounds like Tinks is freakier than we had realized. Last?

No, no, not at all. I actually went on my first field date last week— or no, this week.

What was, what was their name? Sorry, I had to take that one.

I'm only laughing because I was about to say the same exact words with the same exact cadence.

We really do this.

So don't sleep on non-binary thrussy is what we're saying. Yeah.

What, what was this person— what, what did— how did it go?

No, so I actually actually still didn't match with anyone, but this guy was like, he got my number from a mutual friend and he was like, hey, I saw you on Field, I won't tell anyone. Um, and I was like, I will.

My whole job— too late, I already did.

I was like, don't worry, I will, on live national radio.

And he's like, okay, my name is Ethel Kane, just keep it low, but, um, what are you doing tonight?

Okay, so I went out with him. So it wasn't like a proper field date, but that's how we made the connection, and it was cool, but I just— he does frequent Field, and based on our conversation, I was like, I don't think Field is maybe for me, but that's okay. But I had a fine time. I like love learning about this stuff.

Could you, could you educate our listeners what, what the difference between Field and, and a Hinge or a Raya is specifically?

Field is like, it's like Grindr for straight people, kind of.

Got it, got it. We're here to fuck and that's about it.

Yeah, which I'm, which I'm not like looking for I, I wouldn't— that's not my thing. I mean, no judgment, but like, but I have a couple of girlfriends that went on and they're like, yeah, like after 100 really scary swipes, I like met one guy and we ended up dating for a while and it was fun. And interestingly enough, on my date I was talking to him about that and he was like, so were you curious about it? Hinge. And he was like, yeah, I'm seeing more girls be like, I'm willing to go on field or try it because is— Hinge is so brutal.

Damn, Field, last man standing. Field's winning because everyone else is losing.

Yeah, exactly.

This is fascinating stuff. This is really fascinating stuff, I gotta say. How often do you get your chart read?

My, like, my birth chart?

Yeah, your star and shit.

Yeah, yeah, I like enjoy that stuff, but I, I think like a normal amount for today, which is a lot. Like, a normal amount today is like I know everything. And I won't date a Pisces, and I won't—

okay, so you have, you have rules that you've learned from the stars?

Yeah. And I also like believing in it, also like to annoy people, because I'm otherwise a very— I'm not saying that astrology is not logical, but I'm a very practical, matter-of-fact, logical person. But I love believing in it, and I really do believe in it. And I just, I think sometimes you have to have juxtapositions in your personality, and then people have to deal with that.

Wow, you're telling me. Can you tell all my friends and wife that, please, about all my juxtapositions?

All right, deal with it.

If You're talking about your DMs and the fellas in the DMs. Let's— I want to kind of percentage breakdown on musician, athlete, creative director, and what's the splits looking like job-wise?

Honestly, not that many guys slide into my— my profile is not a welcoming space for a straight man. Like, you look, you look at my Instagram and it's like, ooh, like, that is not a place where Chris from Hinge feels at home. It's all like some rough waters. He doesn't pay on the first date, like, kill him.

Sure.

In, like, whatever. So it's like, it's a little bit scary for, for those. But the weird thing is, a lot of kind of— and I don't know what to say, preppy, but kind of like all-American preppy, like finance guys, which is not my type, actually— they are the ones who slide in the most, which is really interesting.

But I'm like, no, not you, because they're hopped up on fucking testosterone, they're ready to fuck.

They're on Vyvanse, T, slide into it at the fucking Bloomberg terminal, blasting off DMs to chicks.

No, those guys always like girls who are like loudmouthed and like annoying and crazy because that's kind of—

yeah, because it's like the opposite.

It's like the opposite of them. And then like, girl, I'm like, no, I want like a rock star, like someone equally crazy, not like, you know, you from Connecticut. Like, get away.

All right, John Mayer. John Mayer's single again.

Oh well, good to know.

Spin the block.

Maybe I'll DM him.

Yeah, when we say rock star, how rocking are we, are we getting? How much dirt under the nails?

You're not into that. You're not into that real shit. No.

No, I want like a— I want like a guy hanging out at Cafe Lyria who has a couple of tattoos.

No, not Cafe Lyria.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

No, you want Run Club dick. I can tell you want some Run Club— you want some— you want some Hoka dick with tattoos.

Okay, so your version of a rock star, tatted up rock star, is like Harry Styles? Not, you know—

no, no, I'm not— I don't—

not Harold Stylish? Harold Stylish?

He's not my thing. He's not my thing.

Maybe a member of Geese? Maybe a Julian Casablanca?

No, I want someone more like— I honestly think Benicio del Toro is my type. Is he? Right, right. Someone who's like rock and roll in spirit, you know?

Johnny Depp, something like that.

That's fine.

Nice guys. Nice.

Not Johnny Depp.

Just checking.

I had to double check.

Okay, so we like a little, little dark energy.

You're gonna find it. You're gonna find a man after this comes out tomorrow.

Salt and pepper.

I hope so.

A couple skeletons in the closet.

We have a diverse range of listeners that do lean male, but they're high earning, um, a lot of potential.

Wait, so yeah, who is your guys' listener? Like a high earning male who wants to be cool and like, so he sits at his desk at his JP Morgan job?

A lot. Well, it's actually 40% women, which we're very proud of, but that's right, we speak to the ladies as well. But the fellas, um, the fellas, I would say it depends, but I think it's probably— I think there's some crossover for you in there.

Okay, I love that.

And the How Long Gone list—

I'm sure all the men will love that I said I thought 80% of them are gay and insulted them. And very—

they will like that. Yeah, they will.

Yeah, I mean, the right guy will say, challenge accepted, I'm going to show you how gay I am not.

And also, yeah, curious. If you're listening, if you're, if you're a curious guy, like, I like when a guy sits down because I'm the type of person where every time I come home or whatever, I'm like, oh my God, you'll never guess what happened to me, this, this, and I saw this guy on the train. And I like someone who's always who's like, oh, I saw a new restaurant, we got to try that. Like, most people— I don't like— I don't like shy people. I don't like boring people. Like, I need— like, I want to squeeze every drop out of this beautiful life that we have.

A joie de vivre. Well, it sounds like—

what do you mean, Maxine?

You need a gay guy is what it sounds like. That is—

yeah, that's it. Sorry, you need a gay guy. Go on a cruise or something. All right, uh, sorry, we gotta go. Thanks. Thank you, it was a pleasure.

So abrupt for joining us on How Long Gone After Chris has a hard out. No aftercare today, unfortunately. But we have— we always like to leave people wanting more.

Oh yeah, you're coming back. You're coming back once a year. You're fucked now.

If you'll have us, we would love to have you back.

Yeah.

All right.

And we can listen to you on SiriusXM?

Anywhere you get your podcasts. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. It's Me, Tinks is my show. Thanks, guys.

That's great. You're the only person— you're the only person we've ever had that's a podcast on the same schedule as us.

Meant to be.

Thank you for your time.

Thank you.

Bye. Thank Thanks, thanks, good to see you.

I like you a lot. Music while I'm watching The Boys. So I do what you want. Singing songs just to soak up the noise.

With ribbons on the wall.

I am like a toy, so I want to make toys.

Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities, so do like I did and have one of your assistants' assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com/switch.

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